It started, as ever, with a kiss. It always does.
But in today’s hyper-technological society, that kiss is no longer the happily-ever-after of fairy-tales and romantic novels.
The kiss, instead, occurs late at night, with an anonymous stranger, in the back of a taxi – in this case, an Uber.
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The rampantly successful ride-sharing company recently expanded in London to offer the UberPool service, where multiple passengers can catch a ride together.
Inevitably, this has collided with the burgeoning hook-up culture to become a new way to pick up a lover – UberPull, if you will.
So how has Uber affected the dating scene? The service – thankfully – drums the final nail into the coffin of the chat-up line.
@Uber ???? UberPOOL – very cool idea! Does however sound more like it will end up as UberPULL…looking forward to the hilarious anecdotes
— Jess (@jsimmsss) November 30, 2015
No longer must we search our inebriated minds for the enticing “I lost my number, can I have yours?” or fall victim to the excruciating melody of “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
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UberPull protects us from this agonising rite of passage by planting two people in a confined space, protected only by the darkness of the night.
Even “my place or yours?” is unnecessary – UberPull simply delivers passengers to the address they have entered prior to the journey. All alight at the first stop – voila.
Similarly, the new-and-improved service saves passengers from the awkward throes of small-talk.
You have, on average, 15 minutes to converse, as the car drives through the night.
This particular aspect is a double-edged sword: you have a quarter of an hour to be as entertaining as possible – or indeed to be so crashingly boring that only a kiss will annihilate the sound of your voice. Don’t settle for anything in between: it might be a lonely trip home.
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But all actions have consequences – and with UberPull, the deadly repercussion could be the star-rating system.
It may seem merciless to grant your fellow passenger only one star, and a five-star rating screams over-enthusiasm. But, hey, at least it’s democratic dating.
Talking of democracy: there’s always safety in numbers – but beware: things can get complicated if there are more than two of you in the car.
Why? Dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble have seen a decline in users, who dismiss them as too mainstream and unselective – UberPull instead offers zealous spontaneity and the uncertain thrill of Chance.
Uber Pool has landed. Can't wait to #uberpull pic.twitter.com/cRpxuBHww0
— FRYARS (@Fryars) December 4, 2015
Despite all allure, UberPull isn’t as rosy as all that. Kissing in a cab unerringly fails to induce the same sense of excitement as the feeling that you get when you catch the eye of someone attractive and you just know.
But like everything in the sharing economy, it is bringing what we want to our doorstep.
And that’s OK. Because we want it all, and we want it now. And as such, with the rise of the sharing economy, we have successfully orchestrated the funeral march of the tummy-flip.
And who says romance is dead?
