Qatar Paid Up to $1 Billion to Save Members of Royal Family Kidnapped During Falconry Party

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By Joe Simonson | 5:02 pm, June 5, 2017

Some royal Qatari bros were just having a day out with the boys and their falcons when a bunch of unchill al Qaeda affiliates and Iranian security officials decided to kidnap them in the middle of a casual hunting trip in Iraq, according to a new report from the Financial Times.

The deal to release members of the royal family led to the recent decision by surrounding Gulf states to cut diplomatic and transportation ties with the Qatari government.  Apparently, paying a nine-figure ransom to some of the most detested people in the world (I.E., Iran and al Qaeda) rubbed Saudi Arabia, Egypt, the United Arab Emirates and Bahrain the wrong way.

Members of the Iraqi Shiite militia, Kataib Hezbollah (Hezbollah Brigades), aim their weapons as they take up position during fighting against Islamic State (IS) fighters, in Amerli town, northeastern Baghdad, Iraq, 01 September 2014. EPA/STR.

When asked to comment, Qatari officials denied the allegations and said the recent blockade is “founded on allegations that have no basis in fact.” The ransom payment has been described as directly funding regional and international terrorists.

Sources for the FT say $700 million went to Iranian figures and regional Shia militias, while $200 to $300 million went to Syrian Islamist groups, with the majority going to Tahir al-Sham, a group tied to al Qaeda.

Although the kidnapping happened back in 2015, the deal was not finalized until last April.

Gotta side with Qatar here. If you’re out with your homies hunting God-knows-what in the Iraqi desert and get abducted by some terrorists, you gotta be relying on your boys to bail you out.  The bro code is international: If you get arrested after getting too rowdy in a bar, you expect your friends to bail you out.  If you’re taken hostage during a falconry party, you expect some support.  Real shame that money is most likely going to be used to kill innocent people, but rules are rules.

Hell yeah.

This whole saga also only further proves that Middle Eastern royalty is just better at being rich than white people.  You have tech start up owners buying Teslas and some nice houses on secluded islands, but don’t even begin to tell me that you think Mark Zuckerberg could command a small army of birds to kill for him.

We’ve learned all we need to learn from Qatar’s neighbors. Total snake move to bail on your friend just because they got into a little bit of trouble on a falconry party.  Boys will be boys.

Someone tell Trump falconry parties are a thing.

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