Heat Street’s Summer Holiday Suggestions for Britain’s Idle Politicians

Parliamentary recess is upon us – which means our MPs are free to vanish on their summer holidays – if they dare.

Some politicians suddenly have oodles of time on their hands, while others might struggle to get the time away. In any case, Heat Street has some ideas for where they might go:

David Cameron – City break in Maastricht, Netherlands

The former PM, who recently boasted of his “remarkably light” diary,

He’s lost access to his “Cam Force One” jet, so we suggest somewhere he can drive.

How about, oh, we don’t know, Maastricht in the Netherlands?

As well as culture and architecture, the Dutch city gives its name to the Maastricht treaty of 1992, which consolidated the EU and started a chunk of the Tory party on the warpath – a voyage that would end with his own political demise.

If they want to make a roadtrip of it, there is always Amsterdam, Lisbon, Paris and Rome to complete his rueful tour de Euro-treaties.

George Osborne – Staycation at a real Northern Powerhouse

The Ex-Chancellor of the Ex-chequer has said one of his backbench aims is to make sure  his so-called Northen Powerhouse pet project becomes reality.

It’s normally understood as a metaphor, but Osborne could use the recess to really put the flesh on the bones of his idea, by visiting an actual northern powerhouse:

Where better, then, for a long visit than the picturesque nuclear power plant just outside Hartlepool, County Durham – complete with an EDF visitor centre.

We feel one particular part of the tour requirements may especially excite him:

The former money man would also be living up to his reputation for financial restraint – if nothing else, it’s cheap up north.

Nigel Farage – ‘Smash the EU’ Interrail tour

It’s been a heck of a summer for the UKIP maverick, who you might expect to take a back seat and enjoy the Great British Summer from Kent.

But Nigel’s not for sitting about – at an event in the he announced a tour to whip up enthusiasm for exit referendums other countries.

According to Politico, first stop is Athens. While he still has his hated European Union passport, Farage can also snap up an Interrail ticket to visit Eruosceptic nations like Denmark and the Netherlands before crossing the Channel again.

Boris Johnson – Nostalgia trip to Brussels

Before becoming the architect of Brexit, Boris lived in Brussels for six years as the Daily Telegraph‘s Eurosceptic correspondent there.

During the campaign, EU Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker invited Boris to come back to the city, to check whether his claims were “in line with reality”.

He accepted the offer – now as a globally-mobile Foreign Secretary he can make good on it, and see what he’s been missing all this time.

Michael Gove – Backstabbing tour of Italy

The former Justice Secretary is another man with lots of time on his hands after his stunning volte-face to abandon Boris and run for the leadership himself.

The back-stabbing metaphors and Brutus/Caesar comparisons came thick and fast – so what better forum to mull over betrayal than the sultry cities of Italy.

Whether it be the scene of Caesar’s death on the Capitoline Hill, the Vatican so terrorised by the Borgias, or any of the other febrile cities of nearby, Gove will be in a turncoat’s paradise.

Handily, the Brexit-backer won’t have to rely on too much goodwill from the natives. His wife Sarah Vine, who grew up in Italy, ought to be a decent translator.

Jeremy Corbyn – Solidarity trip to Venezuela

We have a sneaking suspicion that Corbyn has always cared more for foreign affairs than what’s going on at home.

So why wouldn’t he jump at the opportunity to visit one-time Socialist paradise Venezuela?

Perhaps because it is on the verge of collapse – but his daily experience in the Labour party will make him feel right at home.

Yes he will be busy defending his leadership – but a vital impending vote didn’t stop him going on hols during the referendum campaign, so why now?

And Theresa May? No chance 

New Prime Ministers don’t get holidays, I’m afraid. Enjoy Number 10, love.