Picture this. It’s a gentle weekend evening, I’m enjoying my regular late-night gloat at the disastrous state of Donald Trump in the polls (unlike this website itself, I personally am very much Never Trump) and all of a sudden I open my email to find a weird solicitation from a stranger.
Its title: “Dear Admitted Crazy Person [sic]”
‘Hi darling…’
Now the only people that call me darling are a) members of my family or b) one flamboyant gay friend, and this wasn’t her email address, so from whom could this be?
Oh joy! As I skimmed the paragraphs and hyperlinks it was clear this was Chuck C “Poop” Johnson, banned from Twitter, threatener of many lawsuits (including against Twitter), the red-headed, bespectacled boil on the bum of journalism.
Since being banned, Chuck Johnson had taken to creating multiple new social media accounts, with Twitter banning him again at every turn, and then finally he gave up and disappeared from view. Of late he popped up again with WeSearcher (to be known by us limeys as “WeeSearcher” to complement his “poop” nickname).
Johnson was now emailing me on an email address doxed personally by Julian Assange, working with the Russians.
Here, in all its glory, is what Mr. Johnson said:
Hi darling,This tweet is incorrect. I do not work for Donald Trump.Now I wouldn’t want to trouble Rupert about this but you know, libel is a danger [sic] sort of business and Rupert and I have known each other since my days working in the News Corp building.[lol!] http://www.breitbart.com/national-security/2011/06/10/big-peace-contributor-charles-johnson-wins-eric-breindel-award/You know all about it don’t you honey? No, not winning awards but getting into tiffs for libel! [lol]Or perhaps its the drugs, sweetie? [so many endearments, what a sweet-talker!]By the way, how long have you been fucking Ahnold? Or is that just a rumor?See, that’s called fact checking.All the best,Charles C. JohnsonP.S. This one was friendly.Founder, CEO of WeSearchr.com: Crowdfunding the TruthFounder of Gotnews.com
Clearly “gotnews.com” whatever that might have been has been downgraded, like Johnson’s sanity.
At this point I was wondering why I should suffer alone, so I broadcast this to my friends on Twitter:
Looney tunes Chuck C poop Johnson is emailing me. It's fascinating
— Louise Mensch (@LouiseMensch) October 16, 2016
I replied:
Nervous are you?
You should be.
Not in the least bit darling. Just wait until we do to you what was done to Gawker.Charles C. JohnsonFounder, CEO of WeSearchr.com: Crowdfunding the TruthFounder of Gotnews.com
Thiel is not likely to approve of Johnson’s own penchant for ‘outing’ people, which is why he was banned from Twitter.
At this point tweeters were giving me suggestions of how to respond to Johnson, so I decided to crowd-source some questions for the great man:
@LouiseMensch Ask him if he likes eating at Arby's. cc @Popehat
— Mark R. Yzaguirre (@markyzaguirre) October 16, 2016
I will take requests for questions to Chuck C Poop Johnson folks
this is the first one 🙂 any more? https://t.co/yCEH6Migoq— Louise Mensch (@LouiseMensch) October 16, 2016
But sadly not many people were too interested in Johnson’s views:
@Popehat not yet but he is calling me honey
— Louise Mensch (@LouiseMensch) October 16, 2016
@LouiseMensch Ask him for hints on being a successful litigant
— (((Popehat))) (@Popehat) October 16, 2016
Following Johnson’s threat, such as it was, I replied:
LOL
[redacted] in the street recently?How is that suit against Twitter coming?
Honey you know that’s not real, right? Oh wait! You do have problems with your brain! All the drugs, I’m afraid. http://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/louise-mensch-my-mind-is-messed-up-after-taking-hard-drugs-7920094.htmlI’ll be in New York this week discussing it. Might be a scoop for you.Would love to buy a drink (or something harder) so I can show you how it’s really done.Or have you tired of plagiarizing Milo and me yet?I found your prevaricating on behalf of the Last King of Australia marvelous. TOP NOTCH. Is it tricky being a feminist who always has to rely on men for everything?The last company I sued isn’t with us anymore. RIP Gawker.Charles C. JohnsonFounder, CEO of WeSearchr.com: Crowdfunding the Truth
Questions: Do you like eating at Arby’s?
Can you confirm or deny that you like eating at Arby’s?Do you have tips for being a successful litigant?Can you confirm or deny that you are having a quiet evening?TIA
Darling:I have never eaten at an Arby’s. Do learn how to do the fact checking thing. We wouldn’t want you to wind up like Rolling Stone or Gawker (though it would please be [sic] greatly to see you deposed).I achieved all my objectives with Gawker. Next up Twitter. [Be afraid, Jack Dorsey, be very afraid – LM] Perhaps I should use the money I’ve made from shorting their stock.Now I get to ask one. Can you confirm or deny that you are fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger and nailing his leftovers after his maid [sic. Your guess as good as mine as to what this means] ?Oh and be assured that Rupert will see this chain. He needs to know what he’s investing in, after all.Charles C. JohnsonFounder, CEO of WeSearchr.com: Crowdfunding the TruthFounder of Gotnews.com
