Gwyneth Paltrow is the queen of bad advice. Whether its how to use the power of crystals to clear your chakras, or how to handle an imbalance in your chi by sticking a jade egg up your ladyparts, the celebrity wellness “expert” and her team at Goop.com are legendary for their insane “natural” remedies.
Gwyneth, it seemed, was immune to criticism of Goop’s wacky—and often potentially damaging—ideas. Recently, though, the A-list actress traded in her day job to run Goop full time, and she decided to confront her detractors.
Speaking to The Hollywood Reporter, Paltrow challenged those who’d called her out for selling garbage nutritional supplements to combat non-existent diseases, and those non-believers who refused to acknowledge that a 24-Karat gold dildo could infuse your love life with extra pizzazz.
“I’m interested in criticism based on fact, not on projections,” says Paltrow. “If you want to f**k with me, bring your A game,” she said.
Unfortunately for Gwyneth, not everyone who criticizes her just cynically points out how insane it is to pay $175 for a box that contains some sage and a feather, or fails to understand the point of spending $315 on a single earring. Her detractors include real scientists who have devoted their lives to improving the health of humanity only to have Gwyneth Paltrow insist that you can cure menstrual cramps with rocks.
In an essay titled, “Dear Gwyneth” Dr. Jen Gunter, an OB/GYN and pain medicine practitioner, socks Paltrow with a wealth of evidence, debunking nearly every one of Paltrow’s “natural cures” and laying to rest Paltrow’s concerns about everything from “toxins” to tampons.
“You have the gall to tell people like me that we better bring our A game when you bring ghosts and magic to the table. Literally,” Gunter writes, scathingly, before pointing out that Gwyneth lists nearly every substance on earth as a toxin in her book about beauty, but also encourages women to use Botox—an actual toxin.
Gwyneth, of course, hasn’t responded—but she may have won this round anyway. As exasperated scientists pulled their hair from their heads at her abject ignorance, Gwyneth appears to have monetized the “signature phrase” that started it all, “If you want to f**k with me, bring your A game.” Word has it, Goop will soon be selling cocktail napkins and notebooks with this inspiring advice.