Many critics of the video-game industry and some in the gaming community would have you believe that politically incorrect games are a modern invention. The classic games of your youth were all good, right?
Wrong.
By modern standards, a lot of those hours you spent gripping a controller in your room or hunched over an arcade model at the mall were spent in a world of misogynist, racist, pro-gun troupes and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Which ones, you say? Well, we put on our SJW glasses and found out.
The Legend of Zelda
Can’t you hear SJWs wining that, despite its name, The Legend of Zelda is really all about Link (a dude with a sword) trying to rescue a helpless princess? “Why can’t she save herself?” they’d say. “Women are not prizes!” These same people are probably fuming about how Mario helped Princess Peach escape Bowser’s castle, too.
The Mortal Kombat Series
Beating women to a pulp—and periodically yanking out their spines—for points doesn’t really jive with our post-Chris Brown/Ray Rice world now does it? While we’re here, let’s ban the entire Tekken, Marvel vs. Capcom, and Street Fighter franchises, too.
Out Run
Eyes looking for sexism everywhere might notice that while the image of the driver—and hence the game player—in this racing arcade classic is a male sitting in the driver’s seat of a Ferrari, there’s also a blonde woman sitting in the passenger’s seat, her blond hair blowing in the breeze. Women as props are very out these days.
Time Crisis
Libs might see the shooting-spree-on-rails favorite of the mid-90s to the mid-00s as an outreach program for the NRA and we can’t have that. You can throw Duck Hunt and about a thousand other light-gun games into that basket of deplorables while you’re at it.
Call of Duty
You can’t kill Muslims, they say! Muslims are our friends (even when they’re aiming RPGs at you). And yet, that’s exactly what multiple titles in the Call of Duty, Modern Warfare, and Splinter Cell franchises ask you to do.
Tomb Raider
The hero may be a woman, but her body is made for the boys. Someone start a petition.
Grand Theft Auto
Actually, between the points you get for killing prostitutes, the shootouts with the police, endless racial stereotypes, and more, it’s harder find something politically correct or traditionally acceptable about anything in this blockbuster series. Duke Nukem would be cool with it, though.