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From Trump to My Mommy Issues, Why We Should Blame Video Games for Everything

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By William Hicks | 10:45 am, November 30, 2016

Trump is president and something’s gotta take the blame. But who or what should we hold up as blood sacrifice for the voters’ irreversible sin.

Not the Clinton campaign for running a crap campaign or the millions who didn’t vote at all but still feel the need to complain on social media. It can’t be identity politics, or the Russians, or Jill Stein. And it certainly cannot be the media and their excellent and fair election coverage.

So why not video games?

Video games act as the perfect scapegoat for life’s bountiful unfortunate outcomes. Most people don’t understand them, especially the media, which makes it easy to make wild claims with no one bothering to verify. Like when games were blamed for rickets and limb loss. Or when game journalists clamored to tie violent video games with the Orlando shooting. Or when The New York Times tried to blame games on the existence of internet trolls. Or when an 11-year-old went on a joyride after playing Grand Theft Auto. Don’t blame the parents, blame the game!

Or when games were blamed by me just now for the death of our lord and savior Jesus Christ (Judas got his ideas from Grand Theft Auto, too). Hell, I’d say the creation of our universe can be be blamed on video games, if you subscribe to Elon Musk’s “we’re living in a virtual simulation” theory.

Seriously, it’s the best advice I could give anyone. If you need something to hawk the blame on, just use video games. No one’s going to stop you, especially the nerds who play them.

Nathan Grayson of Kotaku gets what I mean. He recently published an article “From Gold Farming To Gamergate, The Gaming Ties Of Donald Trump’s White House.”

Donald Trump’s cabinet is coming together, and it’s become impossible to ignore some real and direct connections to the world of video games, largely centering on his controversial picks for chief strategist, Steve Bannon, and national security adviser, Michael Flynn.

In it, he describes how Bannon’s hard times on a Chinese gold farm convinced him to plot revenge on America by helping elect a deranged Cheeto-skinned billionaire. Grueling hours earning fake currency for rich Western World of Warcraft players convinced him of the evils of globalization and free trade.

He also mentions Michael Flynn, Trump’s national security advisor, as another prime example of the pernicious link between the Trump administration and video games. While Flynn doesn’t have anything to do with video games, Flynn once called Milo Yiannopoulos a good guy. Milo wrote articles in favor of Gamergate.

And not only did a Trump advisor say nice things about a guy who was kind of involved in Gamergate, if you believe Salon, Trump IS Gamergate.

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Hmmm, I’m just going to go out on a limb, but if Flynn and Bannon both have tangential relationships with video games, that means that 4 or 8 years of Trump administration wickedness are the direct fault of games.

And on to the strained relationship with my mother, as I’m sure you’re all wondering. Long obsessive hours playing games were a constant source of tension between mommy and I growing up. But luckily, like Trump, I can just blame the video games themselves, not my rudeness or lack of self control, as the reason Mom won’t help me with rent this month.

Thanks video games!

Follow me on Twitter @William__Hicks

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