Why It’s Time for a Satanist President

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By Ben Kissel | 7:48 am, September 20, 2016
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There’s one thing all 44 previous presidents have in common; none of them were Satanists. I think it’s about time that changes. Satanism is a controversial ideology; people mostly identify it with blood drinking, goat sacrifice and dumb-looking robes. But if you look at the tenets of Satanism, it’d be a great ideology to guide a president. Let’s go through some core tenets.

Tenet 1: Self-Reliance

We live in a nation with roughly 100 million Americans receiving social welfare from the Federal government. This is partially because industry is becoming more reliant on automation to keep costs down and prices low. Experts believe by the year 2045, half of American jobs will be automated, leaving a decimated workforce. Because of the lack of jobs, people will become more reliant on government welfare; this greatly inhibits a person from being independent because they are forced into a depressing status-quo livelihood.

If a family receives $20,000 a year in government welfare and has the audacity to improve their existence — let’s say by raising their net-worth just $5,000 a year — the Federal government will cut them off completely from welfare; however, their lives will not have improved enough for them to be self-sustaining. Hence, welfare forces people down instead of propelling them up to the point where they can be self-reliant.

A Satanist president would reform the welfare state and encourage companies, through tax breaks and incentives, to maintain a strong core of human workers; therefore ensuring their ability to work and make a healthy living.

Tenet 2: Struggle for Justice

Justice movements have recently sprung up nationwide, and rightfully so. The Black Lives Matter movement, for example, has attempted to highlight the disparity of arrests and incarceration rates of people of color compared to other races. Both political parties are to blame for this disparity.

The prison problem stems from the Rockefeller drug laws and Nixon’s 1971 “War on Drugs.” The prison population continued to grow under Reagan. When he entered office there were 300,000 people in prison and when he left the number had more than doubled.

However, it was under the Democrats that the largest spike of prison population occurred. When Bill Clinton began in 1992 there were 800,000 people in prison and when he left office there was 1.5 million. And, of course, today Hillary Clinton pretends to be against the Prison Industrial Complex while she promoted the 1994 Crime Bill by calling blacks “Super Predators.” The bill is one of the main reasons we have the prison overpopulation today.

A Satanist president would end for-profit prisons, do away with mandatory minimums and focus on rehabilitation as opposed to incarceration for drug offenses (as is explained in the next tenant). Because financially benefitting off the struggle of others would be at-odds with the Satanist belief in equality, justice and unity. Author Suzy Kassem put it this way: “What father would want his children divided and fighting? What God would allow a single human life to be sacrificed for monetary gain?”

Tenet 3: Control Over One’s Body

There is a direct correlation here between drug use and individual liberty. Basically, Satanists believe we should be in control of our own bodies. Roughly 30 million Americans smoke or ingest marijuana; these people should not be considered criminal.

We spend roughly $51 billon a year on the drug war, and it’s done nothing to curb usage. There are roughly 700,000 marijuana drug arrests a year, costing us billions, as opposed to legalizing marijuana to make it a revenue stream for States. In 2015, Colorado made $135 million dollars in tax revenue directly from the sale of legalized marijuana.

A Satanist president would legalize marijuana nationally, tax it, and decrease the federal budget on both the incarceration front and with increased tax revenue, following the tenant that individuals should have agency over their own bodies.

Tenet 4: Respect the Rights of Others

We need to ask ourselves, are we a republic, or are we an empire? Currently we spend roughly $280 million a day to supplement funding for the war on terrorism. Not to mention to mention the cost of human life. Around 6,381 Americans have died. Add to that the 1 million wounded in both wars, and I think we can all agree nation building oversees has been a $6 trillion mistake.

A Satanist president would be against nation building and against the U.S. Imperialism. He or she would focus on domestic prosperity as opposed to policing the world, respecting the right of other nations to rule themselves.

Tenet 5: A Belief in Science

Science and math are key education areas where American students have fallen behind much of the world. According to a recent study from the Program of International Student Assessment the U.S. was 35th out of 64 countries in math and 27th in science. US students are losing high-paying jobs to immigrants at a staggering rate because our education system has failed them. More than 34% of computer software engineers and over 42% of medical scientists are not born in this nation; that is unacceptable.

A Satanist president would focus on science and math as the core of our education. He or she would do away with No Child Left behind and Common Core to focus on giving children the tools they need to succeed in the global marketplace.

These tenets are a guiding principle meant to inspire action and thought. They emphasize compassion, justice, and wisdom; which I think we can all agree is something needed in this country right now.