Welcome to Protest Nation: All the Things Americans Are Boycotting Because of Donald Trump

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By Emily Zanotti | 9:13 am, February 3, 2017

Donald Trump has only been in office two weeks, but already, America is sick of politics in the Trump Administration. The “politicized life,” as it’s called when your voting preference invades every aspect of your daily routine, is slowly driving people mad— and away from their friends, family and even social media.

Both pro- and anti-Trump forces have become so desperate to prove their points (or exact their revenge) that a wave of boycotts now threaten nearly every corporation in America for how they relate to the new administration. Love Trump? Boycott. Hate Trump? Boycott. Are Trump? Definitely boycott. Boycott everything!

Here are a few of the weirdest boycotts.

Amazon. Who could live in a world where you can’t order toilet paper, earrings and a video game and have it arrive the very next day? But that’s not what makes the boycott—or shall we say boycotts—of Amazon weird: It’s that both sides of the aisle are currently boycotting the online marketplace because Jeff Bezos is both on Trump’s tech advisory council, and owns the Washington Post.

Someone is still ordering, though, because Amazon isn’t suffering.

Ann Hand Jewelry. The famous Washington, D.C., custom jeweler had to fight protesters to get into her shop on Inauguration day because she, per tradition, crafted a Trump-themed inauguration pin.

Disney’s Hall of Presidents. Left-leaning protesters say they won’t be taking any vacations to the House of Mouse until Disney removes a robotic likeness of Donald Trump from its Hall of Presidents, claiming the animatronic Trump has “tainted the legacy” of the other mechanical leaders.

DC Hoagies. The co-founder of Taylor Gourmet sandwiches in Washington learned that he was “collaborating with a fascist regime” when he met with a full-on protest because he was photographed shaking hands with the President during a meeting of local DC small businesses.

Tom Brady. Is he a Trump fan or isn’t he? Was that “Make America Great Again” hat in his locker by mistake? Does anyone care about Tom Brady enough to boycott him? We’ll find out on Sunday when anti-Trump forces say they’ll be tuning out of the Superbowl over the Patriots’ star quarterback’s apparent allegiances.

Hamilton. Trump supporters have been boycotting the Broadway smash since the audience booed Vice President Mike Pence when he attended a show back in January. The boycott is, apparently, still going on, but no one can tell because you can’t get tickets without selling a major internal organ.

Literally Everything Else. Think you can walk into a department store or pour yourself a soft drink without making a political statement? Ha! Joke’s on you.

According to a list posted on Reddit, Donald Trump’s supporters can’t patronize: Pepsi (that means no soda, Doritos, Mountain Dew or Lipton tea), Macy’s, Amazon, the entire NFL, GrubHub, Oreos, Carrier air conditioners, Dreamworks, Netflix, Lifeway Yogurt, ConAgra (which makes nearly everything you consume), Disney, Ben & Jerry’s, Starbucks, Budweiser beer, and Apple and Dell computers.

Another spreadsheet, posted on GrabYourWallet.com, says that Trump’s opponents can’t frequent: Nordstrom, Macy’s, Neiman Marcus, LL Bean, Dillards, Zappos, TJ Maxx, Lord & Taylor, Walmart, Bed Bath & Beyond, the Home Shopping Network, Ross Dress for Less, Sears, Carnival Cruises, The Honest Company, the LA Clippers, Lending Tree, Miller beer, NASCAR, Uline, New Balance and Universal Studios.

Good luck.