According to officials with Donald Trump’s Inauguration committee, next week’s festivities will be a clear departure from previous “circus-like” inaugurations, where parades, performances and high-profile events were the order of the day.
Instead, they say, Trump’s Inauguration will have a “soft sensuality” and a “poetic cadence” instead of A-list celebrities and big-name acts.
It’s not immediately clear precisely what that means—whether, say, the committee plans on incorporating a hologram of Barry White into their festivities, is calling on that Melania Trump look-alike stripper to headline a concert on the Mall, or will have the ad company behind the Cialis bathtub spots dressing the swearing-in stage. But Inauguration chair Tom Barrack said that he’s convinced the affair will be “more refined” than in previous years.
Barrack added that Trump himself is uncomfortable with the Inauguration being a major scene, saying that the President-elect would prefer to “get back to work” as soon as possible after his swearing in.
So far, Trump’s list of Inaugural performers is scant. As of Tuesday, America’s Got Talent star Jackie Evancho will sing the National Anthem and the Rockettes and Mormon Tabernacle Choir will perform (missing a few key members who objected to the gig). Trump himself said that he didn’t “need” A-list stars because they weren’t often in line with the real America that elected him.
None of those acts scream “soft sensuality.” But then again, perhaps we don’t exactly want to think about what does in this context. Thankfully, Twitter is here to help.