Donald Trump campaign adviser Paul Manafort announced his resignation Friday following a series of embarrassing reports about his ties to Ukrainian oligarchs and allies of Vladimir Putin.
Manafort resigns from Trump campaign https://t.co/yaDYeqfOM1 pic.twitter.com/QT0nCpS1ud
— USA TODAY (@USATODAY) August 19, 2016
The announcement did not come as much of a surprise. Manafort’s campaign role appears to have been greatly diminished in Trump’s recent shake up, which installed Breitbart CEO Steve Bannon as campaign “chief executive”.
Couple wks ago, Trump aide told me DJT was frustrated w Manafort but wouldn't fire him. Would layer somebody on top of him & see if he quit.
— Eliana Johnson (@elianayjohnson) August 17, 2016
Now that Manafort is out of a job, we thought we’d offer a few suggestions for his next move:
1) Consultant, Office of President Bashir al-Assad
Five years after President Obama called on Syrian president Bashir al-Assad to step down, the conflict in the war-ravaged nation continues to rage. Assad has gotten some much needed military assistance from Russia and Iran, but it couldn’t hurt to hire a seasoned political consultant to help restore his image among the people he keeps bombing.
2) Ryan Lochte’s Publicist
Paul Manafort has resigned from the Trump campaign in order to manage Ryan Lochte’s image rehab effort.
— Sonny Bunch (@SonnyBunch) August 19, 2016
Speaking of people in need of some good PR, disgraced U.S. swimming Ryan Lochte should considering hiring Manafort to help him deal with the negative press surrounding the bizarre “mugging” scandal that has reminded many Americans why they should never trust anyone from Florida. Manafort’s recent experience as an adviser to a celebrity prima donna with unconventional hair should come in handy as he coordinates Lochte’s apology tour.
3) Inmate, Federal Prison
Recent reports have raised serious questions about whether Manafort violated federal law by failing to disclose his relationship as a lobbying for a non-profit group tied to ousted Ukrainian president (and Putin ally) Victor Yanukovych. He might want to consult the handy Prison Guide we made for Hillary Clinton, who could still end up in the slammer if the next Wikileaks dump is as damaging as Julian Assange has claimed.
4) CNN Contributor
Former Trump adviser Corey Lewandowski was quickly scooped up by CNN after being ousted by the Trump campaign in June. Reports indicated that Lewandoski was pushed out because he didn’t get along with Manafort, so it’s not out of the question that Manafort’s resignation could clear the way for Lewandowski to return to the campaign. If that happens, CNN will be in need of another Trump insider to put on the air in between live shots of Trump campaign rallies.
5) Vice President of Donor Relations, The Clinton Foundation
The Clinton Foundation has alleged that it will stop soliciting foreign donations if Hillary becomes president. Manafort seems versed enough in the art of dark money management to keep the gravy train flowing from shady foreign governments and still technically comply with this self-imposed restriction. The foundation has not, for example, clarified whether the ban on foreign donations would also applied to its sketchy Canadian offshoot, which for convenient legal reasons is unable to release the names of its donors.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
