In the runup to the Indiana primary on Tuesday, Donald Trump tried to seal the deal by implicating Rafael Cruz, Ted Cruz’s father, in a conspiracy to murder JFK, citing a National Enquirer story that mentioned the elder Cruz as being with Lee Harvey Oswald before he was shot.
Before either Cruz had a chance to respond, however, the Internet decided to “bolster” Trump’s preposterous claims by implicating Rafael Cruz in a host of other historical conspiracies. Rafael Cruz quickly went from being the subject of Donald Trump’s latest verbal faux pas to being the unsung maestro of nearly ever major event of the last century.
It’s absolutely amazing not only how old Rafael Cruz is (is he a time traveler? A Time Lord? A mysterious alien being from the future sent to save us from a terrible fate?), but how vast his influence has been on history. He’s walked on the moon, shot several presidents, escaped the Hindenburg and inflicted Bieber fever on an innocent and unwilling American public.
But Rafael Cruz isn’t, it seems, the only dastardly force at work in Trump’s mind. According to Twitter, and the hashtag #TrumpConspiracyTheories, there are many, many stars —a vast, Cruz family conspiracy—aligned against The Donald.
Some even touched on Donald Trump’s previous “favorite conspiracy:” that Barack Obama was really born in Kenya, and that his birth certificate is a fake. It turns out, the #TrumpConspiracyTheories is actually good news for the presumptive GOP frontrunner: When this is all over, he can actually combine his previous crusade with his current one.
Meantime, maybe Trump is right about this whole JFK thing after all: Look what we unearthed. It’s Rafael and Lee Harvey Oswald on the Grassy Knoll—and Ted’s there, too!