How old is President Obama? Thanks for asking. His birthday is August 4. That’s today! Obama is 55 years old, and to the delight of some, this will be the last birthday he celebrates in the White House — unless Hillary Clinton invites him back, or amends the Constitution so he can run again.
You only turn 55 once, so today is really a special day for the president. We should all do our part to help him celebrate. He’s seems a little desperate for attention. It’s kind of sad.
Like, dude, we get it. It’s your birthday. Don’t be like that annoying rich kid in junior high who hands out invitations to the entire grade.
Not that you’ll actually be invited to his party. They’re usually reserved for minor celebrities and whoever Valerie Jarretts says can come. Remember that time he threw a “Hip Hop BBQ” bash for his 50th, and Mike Huckabee got really mad? Tom Hanks and Charles Barkley showed up. So did some of his “Chicago pals,” meaning Bill Ayers, probably. How do you top that?
You won’t, but the least you could do is get Obama a nice gift for his birthday. Here are a few suggestions.
iPod full of speeches
That’s what Obama gave the Queen of England on his first presidential visit to London in 2009: an iPod filled with his own speeches. You can load up some of your own speeches, if applicable, onto an iPod, or just record some of your thoughts on the issues of the day. If you’re feeling lazy, you can just give Obama an iPod with a bunch of Obama speeches loaded on it. He would probably enjoy that even more.
Binders full of Vox articles
Like the iPod idea, but with an old school twist. To help Obama prepare for his inevitable post-White House role as a “contributing editor” for Vox dot com, you might consider buying him a nice three-ring binder filled with printed out Vox articles about himself. That way he’ll have them all in one place. Plus, as Hillary Clinton certainly knows, sometimes it’s nice to have things printed out for you.
Obama mural or painting
Just let yourself go. Paint his face on whatever you feel like, even if you can’t physically send it to him. He might wander into a Denny’s late one night, years from now, dragging a Secret Service detail and craving a Spicy Sriracha Burger or a Honey Jalapeño Bacon Slam. Then he’ll see that colorful doodle of him playing basketball that no one bothered to clean off the table. He’d really like that. Wouldn’t you?
President Barack H. Obama pillow
Perfect for those lonely nights when Michelle is off vacationing on the Costa del Sol or in Hawaii with Oprah.
Something from the Sharper Image
Because he probably saw it in a catalogue somewhere and just never got around to buying it.