North Dakota Says They Wouldn’t Have Let Dakota Access Pipeline Protesters Freeze to Death

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By Emily Zanotti | 12:25 pm, December 4, 2016

The hippies and hipsters that were  tagging along with Native American activists in protest of the Dakota Access Pipeline weren’t sure they’re prepared to handle North Dakota’s forbidding winter, even though they had planned to stick it out in maeshift hovels.

Now, they won’t have to, thanks to an Army Corps of Engineers decision to hold off on digging in NoDak for the time being – and to relocate the controversial project. But the government wasn’t going to let them freeze to death, anyway.

North Dakota gets 22-38 inches of snow each winter with temperatures reaching as low as -60 degrees fahrenheit.

Fortunately for “Divergent” star Shailene Woodley and her celebrity compatriots, the federal and the North Dakota state governments said earlier this weekend that they wouldn’t allow unprepared protesters to freeze to death, and would expend “all necessary resources” to save the activists from themselves.

North Dakota’s state Homeland Security director admitted that evicting the tent city that’s cropped up over the last several months would be a “huge challenge,” especially now that protesters have built semi-permanent structures on land that they say belongs to the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe.

But government officials say that saving the acoustic guitar-playing, lily-white proto-hippie progressives “occupying” the  land would have been a top priority if it turns out they’re in danger — a situation authorities claimed was an inevitability, before the Army Corps decision.

“The bottom line here is, if we are in a situation of life and limb, we are going to be humane in anything and everything we do,” authorities told local media. “We aren’t going to let somebody out there freeze. So if they start evacuating en masse looking for shelter — which I highly suspect will happen — we would take care of that.”

The protesters had been ordered out by the Army Corps of Engineers and some of the less experienced activists have been taking the eviction notice as a clear sign they should find other accommodations.

Unfortunately for the Standing Rock crew, local hoteliers — including the local Indian tribe’s casino, which held #NoDAPL events during the summer — say they’re completely booked up. Activists claim that someone has purchased all of the hotel rooms in order to deny them shelter in the winter. Rooms do appear to be available however on the casino’s website.