Lena Dunham’s New Post-Election ‘Safe Space’: Dogs Forced to Wear Crystals

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By Andrew Stiles | 7:24 am, November 21, 2016

Woke celebrity Lena Dunham has been struggling to cope with Donald Trump’s victory over Hillary Clinton in the U.S. presidential election. She has sought “restorative” solace in the Arizona wilderness, where she has whispered wishes to the rocks and asked the canyon for “guidance.”

Anguished by Trump, Lena Dunham Flees to Posh Arizona Resort, Asks Rocks for ‘Guidance’

Dunham and other celebrities had pledged to immediately flee to Canada if Trump won the election, where they could live under the regime of Justin Trudeau, a “woke bae” prime minister who occasionally jumps out of caves and photobombs beach weddings.

These anti-Trump celebs do not appear to be in any rush to follow through on these pledges. Dunham, for example, isn’t moving to Canada after all. She continues to roam American soil in search of a “safe space” and appears to have found a new one that just might blow your mind.

“I interrupt this restorative weekend to let you know that I have a new passion/safe space and it’s pictures of dogs with crystals on their heads,” Dunham posted to Instagram on Sunday. The accompanying photo (of frightened dog forced to pose with a crystal on its head) has garnered nearly 30,000 likes.

Dunham noted that the photo was originally posted by Energy Muse, an online retailer of “inspirational crystal jewelry.” The shop’s Instagram account promises “all the inspiration you need to further your spiritual journey + immerse yourself in the mystical world of crystal energy,” and is presumably one of the premier websites on which to find pictures of dogs posing with crystals. If that’s your thing.





BOO! It's Bo! 💀🐶 Happy Halloween everyone! Say boo and scary on! 🎃👻🎃 #halloween #halloweendog

A post shared by Energy Muse (@energymuse) on



Feeling safe yet? The Energy Muse account also posts words of inspiration, such as this “pledge of allegiance” for the spiritually woke.

Some of the photos do not contains dogs. This one, for example, shows a semi-nude man lying on the floor and covered in colorful rocks.

Whatever the community of people who believe in crystals is called — lightworkers? — it would seem that Hillary Clinton did not make a sufficient effort to reach out to them during the campaign. Maybe that’s why she lost?