The two Vice Presidential candidate tangled in Farmville, Va., on Tuesday in the only sober moment this Presidential campaign may experience between now and November 8.
Donald Trump’s Vice Presidential candidate Mike Pence came out looking strong, articulated his policies well, quietly dominated control of the discussion, and allowed America to forget, for a brief 90 minutes, that he was running on the same ticket as Donald Trump.
Hillary Clinton’s Vice Presidential candidate Tim Kaine was less impressive, but no less prepared, as it was clear he developed a solid debate strategy with five key elements:
1. Kainesplaining: Did you know that Tim Kaine knows everything? Well, he does. And he will “man-splain” it to you in great detail, often when such an explanation is entirely irrelevant to the question at hand. Want to know about North Korea? Let Tim Kaine “Kainesplain” why institutionalized racism harms law enforcement. If you’re still awake by the end of his answer, you win.
Kaine is like that annoying know-it-all uncle you only see at Thanksgiving. Keeps yapping while everyone else falls asleep. #VPDebate
— Tex&theCity (@wellbidm) October 5, 2016
I think, instead of a drinking game, this VP debate is going to need a stimulant drug game, or else everyone will fall asleep.
— Josh Barro (@jbarro) October 4, 2016
2. Kaineterrupting: Just last week, the Clinton campaign was crying sexism over Donald Trump’s habit of interrupting Hillary. Tonight, Tim Kaine interrupted his opponent no less than 60 times, beating the record for obnoxious, prime-time attention grabs, previously held by Kanye West.
Tim Kaine will unite Americans by interrupting every last one of them.
— jimgeraghty (@jimgeraghty) October 5, 2016
Tim Kaine is such a sexist, interrupting like this. #VPDebate
— Ian Tuttle (@iptuttle) October 5, 2016
3. Dad Jokes: Either the Clinton campaign hired a 22-year-old unemployed comedian to help Kaine prepare for the debate, or he’s been crowd sourcing his Donald Trump zingers for weeks now.
"You are Donald's apprentice." Lmao I can only imagine how long Kaine has been waiting to tell this joke. #VPDebate
— Sarah Ann (@SRundeMC) October 5, 2016
Did Kaine just make an Apprentice joke? The "You're Hired Plan?"
UGHHHH, Dad you're embarrassing me!
— WokeGodEmperorDoom (@richarddoomed) October 5, 2016
4. Donald Trump’s Taxes: No matter the question, no matter the topic, Tim Kaine would always come back to Donald Trump’s tax returns, as though several hundred sheets of financial records would somehow solve the world’s most pressing crises. Russian oligarchy? Trump’s taxes. Questions of Catholic theology? Trump’s taxes. Support the troops? You guessed it: Trump’s taxes.
Moderator: Mr. Kaine how will you defeat ISIS?
Kaine: Donald Trump must release his tax returns. #VPDebate
— Charlie Kirk (@charliekirk11) October 5, 2016
Q: Sen. Kaine, what's your campaign's approach to reining in Russia?
A: Donald Trump won't release his tax returns.
— Seth Mandel (@SethAMandel) October 5, 2016
5. The Eyebrow-Driven Expression: Emotions were a rare sight in Tuesday’s Vice Presidential debate, with both candidates scoring approximately three facial expressions between them. Tim Kaine was, if possible, the more effusive of the two, largely because his eyebrows stayed in a permanently “surprised” position, making it look as if Mike Pence’s ever utterance was a complete and utter shock.
Tim Kaine's eyebrows have more charisma than the rest of his body. #VPDebate
— jon gabriel (@exjon) October 5, 2016
Tim Kaine is winning the debate for me mainly because he actually has eyebrows
— DeAndre Upshaw (@deandresays) October 5, 2016
I will vote for Tim Kaine's eyebrows
— Hilary Hughes (@hilmonstah) October 5, 2016
This is the one and only time the two Veep choices will face off in this election, though given how much better both of them did than their respective bosses, there’s always a chance a campaign may try a last-minute tag-in, World Wrestling style. Desperate times call for desperate measures, after all.