Hillary Clinton Joins the New American Resistance

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By Heat Street Staff | 3:15 pm, May 3, 2017
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Hillary Clinton re-introduced herself to the country this week… again. In an interview with Christiane Amanpour that could have just been titled “Old Women Lecture Stupid Country,” Clinton once again forcefully gave all the reasons why she’s currently not retrograding the White House stairs with AmeriGlide. She managed to remind everyone that she can be a very popular and seminal figure as long as she isn’t opening her mouth. A room full of people even rolled out a RIPE new motto for her: Resist, Insist, Persist, Enlist!

In pure Clinton fashion, the loss wasn’t her fault. Russia, Comey and even the calendar year all played a part in keeping the glass ceiling from shattering at the Javits Center on November 8.

But Clinton’s actions and words in the interview Tuesday were emblematic of just how she squandered her opportunity. In her sit-down in the afternoon, she declared herself to be a member of whatever the hell the resistance is, with Antifa groans heard from coast to coast. She then attended another celebrity gala for Planned Parenthood, where she accepted another symbolic award and gave another lecture about the rights of women and the slide backwards the country, she says, is now experiencing. Because the great resistance will, of course, be fought in celebrity ballrooms and the backwoods of Chappaqua, New York.

She does all of this blissfully unaware that she lost white women to Donald Trump, another statistic courtesy of Nate Silver that she apparently doesn’t feel like citing. The first female Presidential nominee in history could not carry her prime demographic against an opponent who was proven to be a sexual dinosaur during the campaign. Women heard the Billy Bush tape, had 35 years of accumulated headlines of Trump being a womanizing Gordon Gecko—and they still voted for him over one of their own, a fact not lost even on media bestie Andrea Mitchell.

There are a few other reasons for Clinton’s historic collapse (both figurative and literal) that are worth taking a quick trip down Alzheimer’s lane.

Hillary also made the claim that had the election been held on October 27, she would be president. October 27 was, of course, the day Attorney General James Comey sent a letter to Congress regarding newly discovered emails found on a previously undisclosed laptop belonging to Clinton aide Huma Abedin. The emails were ultimately discovered thanks to an investigation into Abedin’s husband, Anthony “Danger” Weiner, and his pornographic texts with a minor. 

What Clinton won’t discuss is that just three days prior, on October 24, news broke that Obamacare premiums would be spiking upwards at a rate of over 20%. Hillary’s answer for that pretty much amounted to attacking Trump for calling a beauty queen fat 20 years ago. 

This also brings us to Wisconsin, a state that Hillary apparently still can’t find on a map because it has no cellular phone service. Even as she goes full “six callers ahead of us Jimmy,” Wisconsin continues to be a metaphorical punchline about not just how bad her campaign bungled her stops and money in the final months, but how she campaigned for over 100 days like she already had the election won.

Her comments about not reaching voters because of an as-of-yet un-fact-checked claim that there are miles and miles without cellular or Internet services were as tone deaf as labeling the Trump supporters “deplorables.” It’s as if she were suggesting that people in that area only communicated by firing shotgun blasts into the sky. Her husband knew these voters were worth talking to, but the data-obsessed Rain Man in charge of her campaign, Robby Mook, felt otherwise. That’s why he’s now counting cards in Vegas and not sitting in the White House crunching more data.

Trump more than tripled his campaign stops in the final months, including Wisconsin, and in this election, people voted for who showed up, not necessarily whom they loved.

As Hillary declares herself a proverbial General Princess Leia or something, all signs point to her shoving the masked college comrades aside for her seat at the Table de résistance. She has continued to book paid speeches and, as reported in the Free Beacon, has now filed for her own political PAC. It’s an awesome step for the Grandpa Sanders “get-money-out-of-politics” crowd.

She will continue to appoint herself Queen Cersei until she is told to go back to the woods. But that would mean giving up on the narratives that James Comey and innocuous emails from her advisor cost her the election. 

Hillary certainly will never face this reality. The question becomes, between grumbles of “Bernie would have won” and “Settle for Hillary”: Can anyone else on the left?

I’m the other Stephen Miller. I’ve recently converted over to an electric toothbrush to cut down on carbon pollution from coming out of my mouth.

On Twitter @redsteeze.