Heat Street’s Christmas Gift List For Inconsolable Remainers

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By Kieran Corcoran | 5:39 am, December 13, 2016

It’s been a hard year for the Europhiles – and Brexit was just the beginning.

Since June 23rd, Trump has sailed to power on a promise of “Brexit plus-plus-plus”, Nigel Farage is ascendant, Italy teeters and France looks ripe for revolt.

Heat Street, it is fair to say, has not always offered Britain’s 48% a welcoming shoulder to cry on.

But in this season of cheer, the least we can do is offer solace to those suffering a personal annus horibilis by suggesting some Christmas bits to take off the edge:

All I Want For Christmas Is EU Jumper – £28

Retro font, virtue signalling – this jumper has it all. It’s not actually knitwear (that would be difficult), has this general sense of disappointment in common with the EU itself.

EU Flag Tie Clip – £33

For the real Eurocrat in your life – this stainless steel slice of federalist glory looks great on a weekend trips to Brussels, and is low-key enough that well-paid, professional class Remainers can wear it at work without getting fired.

Nigel Farage Dart Board – £49

Controlled aggression can also be an excellent coping mechanism – having failed to poke sufficient holes in Farage’s arguments, you can at least poke holes in his face.

Official Britain Stronger In Europe Campaign T-Shirt – £20

For those still in the denial phase of the Brexit recovery process, this merch from the official In campaign – declaring “Still In” – will help keep reality at bay for a few glorious minutes.

Weekend Break in Maastricht – from £99 per person

A physical version of the Maastricht Treaty, as seen in a Dutch bank vault in the town

The pound isn’t so hot at the moment, but budget travelers can still get a taste of EU history for relatively little. Attractions in Maastricht, in the Netherlands, include a plaque with an EU logo on it, and a copy of the pivotal Maastricht Treaty, held in a bank vault.

High Court Judge Costume – £14.49

If you want to get in the way of Brexit, there’s no better look than one of the legal elite. With three major court battles still on the horizon, this should get plenty of use.

‘e-residency’ in Estonia – €100 (£84.92)

A Facebook ad for the technical residency product

Want to stay in the EU without actually having to, well, move there? Buying into this scheme gives doesn’t give you the right to move to the former Soviet nation, but *does* let you buy a bank account and register some tax affairs there, which is almost as good.

Ostrichpillow (for burying your head in) – €80 (£68)

Not really anything to do with Europe, but a great way to bury your head in the sand. Helpfully sold in euros.