Remember Merrick Garland?
If you don’t, you’re definitely not alone. The Supreme Court nominee has been absent from media coverage for weeks, last seen emerging from a meeting with the Senate Judiciary Committee, where he learned he’d be waiting a while – perhaps forever – for his hearing.
Democrats insist that they’re winning the messaging war in President Obama’s battle to replace Antonin Scalia on the Supreme Court, but even media outlets seem to be struggling to remember what Merrick Garland even looks like, let alone what he’s up for. The Senate is, of course, under no obligation to approve a Supreme Court nominee, but they could at least remember they have one.
Still, Merrick Garland is, at least, in good company. This week has presented us with a few forgotten gems, all of which are slightly more alive than Garland’s chances at ascending the bench:
1. Jay-Z: The rapper-turned-producer was spotted for the first time since wife Beyonce dropped her album Lemonade, which strongly hinting that he’d had an affair. Despite rumors to the contrary, Jay-Z is alive and well, and sources close to the artist tell E! News that he’s fully supportive of his wife’s efforts and that he’s finally gotten used to sleeping on their living room couch, no big deal.
Okay, so we made the last bit up, but at least NBC won’t confuse him with a serial killer.
2. Absolutely Fabulous: The cast from the bygone British sitcom debuted a trailer Wednesday morning for a full-length feature film with a verified release date. Patsy and Edina have fled the UK to the French Riviera after (supposedly) killing Kate Moss. Unlike Merrick Garland, Absolutely Fabulous will definitely be springing into theaters July 22nd. Garland might have to wait until at least September to get a spot on the calendar.
3. Blink-182: The late-1990s, parent-approved punk trio are releasing a new single this week, and perhaps a new album later this summer. Nothing is guaranteed at the moment, but the three rockers seem heavily invested in reliving their glory days.
They’ll get their moment sooner than Merrick Garland, who also had a noteworthy 1996 and 1997, having been recently nominated to the DC Court of Appeals only to have his nomination stall while then-President Bill Clinton ran for re-election. He was renominated in 1997 and passed through the Senate with ease. A repeat, we’re sure, would be high on Garland’s list.
4: Carly Fiorina: The once-departed Presidential candidate will get second life on the campaign trail, now that she’s Ted Cruz’s presumptive pick for Vice President should he earn the Republican nomination. While picking a Veep this early isn’t unprecedented, it’s rare for candidates to choose a running mate without first locking up the nod, and assuring their right hand man (or woman) they’d earn the higher office.
Fiorina and Garland find themselves in the same boat: both promised something big, but by someone perhaps not in the perfect position to deliver. For Merrick Garland, hope lies in getting Republicans to vouch for his moderate qualifications. Given that he’s already picked up some big names – Sen. Mark Kirk and former Sen. Tom Coburn – his hill to climb might be easier than Carly’s.
5: Jon Snow: Sure, he’s rotting away on a picnic table, locked in a turret at Castle Black, but it’s hard to believe the Game of Thrones‘s character is gone for good. There are many theories as to how he’ll recover, but it’s probably safe to say that the fans, at least, aren’t convinced they’ve become this emotionally attached for Jon Snow to die a miserable, permanent death.
With only a few months left before the next Presidential election, and record-low enthusiasm for either party’s front runners, Garland is probably hoping that his nomination gets second life nearer to November. Luckily for Garland, George R. R. Martin isn’t penning the Congressional calendar.
