As Hillary Clinton convalesced in Chelsea Clinton’s luxurious Manhattan apartment yesterday, away from prying eyes and out of the sweltering 75-degree heat that, her campaign told reporters, sent her pitching forward into the arms of her Secret Service team, feminists took to Twitter to declare their “swooning solidarity” with the seriously ill Presidential candidate.
You see, it turns out that women are just fainting all the time. Despite 40 years of arguing to the contrary, yesterday we learned from Internet feminists that women are merely delicate hot house flowers, known to wilt under the slightest hint of heat and humidity.
In fact, it’s so common for us lady-types to randomly lose consciousness, that it’s sexist to suggest our fainting might be due to an underlying health problem.
So many women talking to me about how heat sensitivity is just part of their lives. Male members of the media would do well to listen.
— Melissa McEwan (@Shakestweetz) September 11, 2016
B/c treating this like it's unusual is just another indication of not understanding women, or how to cover a female presidential candidate.
— Melissa McEwan (@Shakestweetz) September 11, 2016
ESPECIALLY older women. This incident is, yet again, reflective of how ignoring older women's voices makes our experiences seem "weird."
— Melissa McEwan (@Shakestweetz) September 11, 2016
Regardless of how this clearly indicates that women are less capable than men because of an acute physiological gender-based difference, suddenly, every feminist on Twitter was a routine heat stroke sufferer.
@Shakestweetz @BlkLibraryGirl I cannot function in heat. Headaches, irritability, nausea are all things that happen to me in 80°+ I'm 42.
— Stephanie Lucianovic (@grubreport) September 11, 2016
@Shakestweetz I'm extremely sensitive to heat the older I get, even a 75 degree day is hot to me.
— Shay Stewart Bouley (@blackgirlinmain) September 11, 2016
@salbal09 @Shakestweetz I try to avoid direct sun overhead. I might not pass out but I'll be very nasaeuos and unwell
— arezze1 (@arezze1) September 11, 2016
The story was forced to change as the Clinton campaign revealed Hillary had been suffering from a bout of pneumonia, brought on by a “respiratory illness” that had been circulating through her campaign headquarters. She was, in fact, sick—her campaign had hid the fact from media and the public, and she would be taking a short sabbatical from the campaign.
Suddenly, feminists who’d spent the morning telling social media that women were shrinking violets, utterly incapable of staying upright in typical New York weather, were claiming that merely suggesting Clinton lacked the physical ability to accomplish a difficult job was sexist.
I also find it overly sexist that we're even questioning Hillary's "stamina" to do the job. Something we never asked dude POTUS'.
— KickAssLiberal (@KickAssLiberal) September 12, 2016
Say what you will abt Hillary, but this election is so incredibly sexist. Now Trump is showing off his physical health coz she has pneumonia
— Ushka (Thanu) (@ty_ushka) September 12, 2016
Interesting notion from #wato interviewee: reporting on Hillary Clinton's health is sexist because it plays into "weak woman" stereotype.
— Nelson Jones (@Heresy_Corner) September 12, 2016
Hillary is not feeling well. She's human. The reactions are ridiculous and sexist. Presidents get sick too. #NotaStory
— Mary Quantz (@english_teach79) September 12, 2016
The obsessive focus on Hillary Clinton's health is sexist. Roosevelt, Kennedy, Reagan all had SERIOUS health issues kept from the public.
— Mrs Doyle (@BarbaraHFlowers) September 12, 2016
By the way, Roosevelt had polio in his youth, Reagan wasn’t diagnosed with Alzheimer’s until years after he left office, and Richard Nixon tried routinely to obtain information on JFK’s Addison’s disease, to no avail. But whatever, this isn’t about men, you fools.
In fact, feminists said, Clinton’s willingness to forgo the healing process and instead continue on with her grueling campaign was downright heroic.
Here's who gets pneumonia a lot
a.) moms
b.) grandmoms
c.) busy women who don't have the luxury of rest
d.) teachers
e.) all of the above— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) September 11, 2016
Dear media: if Clinton were a man, she'd be seen as heroic for honoring fallen American despite serious illness.
— John Stoehr (@johnastoehr) September 12, 2016
Ambulatory pneumonia very exhausting. You would have to have an indomitable will & considerable strength just to keep upright. heroic.
— Joyce Carol Oates (@JoyceCarolOates) September 11, 2016
And just in case Hillary’s health seriously declines, remember, FDR (the President whose health issues they claimed were never acknowledged), was sick and still won World War II. Or something.
FDR had polio. JFK had Addison's. McCain beat cancer.
These men overcame illnesses to serve.
But let's disqualify Hillary for pneumonia.
— Summer (@PolitikMasFina) September 12, 2016
"How could someone physically unfit rally the troops? How could they inspire our nation?"
You all actually know FDR couldn't walk right
— Arthur Chu (@arthur_affect) September 11, 2016
Fortunately for the feminists, Hillary is taking a two-day break from the spotlight, so they have time to get their complaints straight. And perhaps order a few fainting couches and smelling salts through Amazon Prime.
