The Presidential nominations are all but settled, but while Donald Trump may have won the primaries, he hasn’t exactly won the hearts and minds of Americans.
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Public Policy Polling released a poll Tuesday pitting Trump against some truly terrible things, and in eight out of 10 match-ups, Donald Trump came out the loser. Other than hemorrhoids, which lost to Trump 45% to 39%, and cockroaches, which Trump narrowly edged out 46% to 41%, Americans prefer just about anything to Donald Trump.
Now, of course, Hillary Clinton would probably fare no better—after all, dislike for both of the Presidential front-runners is nothing short of historic—but so far, Trump is the only with verifiable poll numbers.
When it comes to Donald Trump, Americans prefer:
1. Nickelback (39%, Trump 32%)
They may be the most hated band of all time (there’s even a scientific explanation), but Americans would prefer to “Look at This Photograph” with Chad Kroger and his merry band of facial hair enthusiasts than hang with Donald Trump (plus, if you marry one of them, resettling in Canada after election day will be much easier).
2. Used Car Salesmen (47%, Trump 41%)
Trump might be a snappier dresser than any guy trying to sell you a rusted-out Toyota for thousands above its Blue Book value, but Americans would still take the polyester pantsuit over the New York real-estate mogul.
3. Traffic Jams (47%, Trump 40%)
4. Hipsters (45%, Trump 38%)
They may gentrify neighborhoods, clog city streets with fixed-gear bicycles and drive up the price of mustache wax, but most people would take hipsters over Donald Trump any day. After all, the availability of organic artisan goat cheese will undoubtedly skyrocket under their regime.
5. The DMV (50%, Trump 40%)
Donald Trump is running to head up the government, which is why it’s so strange that most Americans would choose navigating the DMV—the very definition of government ineptitude—as a preferable experience to voting for Donald Trump. Perhaps they think it could only get worse?
6. Root Canals (49%, Trump 38%)
There’s nothing remotely charming about a root canal, which is why Donald Trump should probably be concerned. Americans picked having a dentist drill into their teeth over the Republican front-runner by a whopping eleven points.
7. Jury Duty (57%, Trump 35%)
Jury duty won out over Donald Trump by a 12-point margin. Probably because when you have to endure jury duty, they at least cut you a $14 check for your trouble. Donald Trump might give you Vice President Ben Carson.
8. Lice (54%, Trump 28%)
Lice had the biggest spread on Trump, 26 points. In the battle between blood-sucking parasites, the lice came out on top.