Scientists are predicting a hotter-than-average summer across the board, probably thanks to Donald Trump, so it’s no wonder that designers are embracing completely non-breathable fabric in their spring and summer collections.
First, it was the TopShop plastic-knee pants. Then it was the Doll Killz plastic, well, everything pants. And now, thanks to the design genius of Alessandro Michele at Gucci, you can experience the joy of spending thousands to slosh around in your own foot sweat.
Behold, the latex sock sandal. Only $1,190, exclusively at Nordstrom, and exclusively by Gucci.
According to the designer, the new shoe combines the luxury of a Gucci sandal—a staple among Europe’s astute fashionistas—with the flexibility of wearing anklet socks. It’s a trend that city-dwellers have embraced in order to bring their designer shoes from day to night efficiently.
They fail to mention that anyone who zips themselves into the latex sock-sandal situation is going to have to invest in towels and air freshener. They note that the shoes come in a variety of sexy colors.
If you prefer to wear the sock alone, the ad says its “detachable.” Sexy.
In fairness to Gucci, this insane endeavor is likely because the luxury brand has cheapened itself over the last decade selling more affordable, “ready-to-wear” clothes, shoes and accessories. And with the advent of “Gucci-inspired” fakes and frauds popping up across second-hand fashion websites, women in every Midwestern suburb are now able to tote a Gucci-esque handbag on mid-week trips to the grocery store.
Shocking, bizarre, smelly ideas like this help to create an air of mystery around the Italian fashion house, and put people who can afford to spend thousands on plastic shoes in a class by themselves.
Of course, unfortunately for Gucci, someone’s already been down this road. Kanye West introduced latex thigh-highs in his Yeezy clothing line several years ago, and as a consequence Kim Kardashian has already ruined them for everyone.