Tree Humpers: These Ecosexuals Want to Screw Global Warming to Death

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By William Hicks | 4:38 pm, November 3, 2016

Sexuality has gotten a whole lot more complicated than in your grandparents’ day, when it could basically be summed up by a plug and an electrical socket. Now there are so many wonderful sexualities to choose from, like pansexual, lunarsexual, and i-just-made-it-up-but-you’re-a-bigot-if-you-say-it’s-fake-a-sexual.

But the hottest new sexuality has to be the ecosexuals, those who believe they have the power to save the planet… by having sex with it.

An Australian-American art duo is expressing their budding ecosexuality with an “Ecosexual Bathhouse” at a  Sydney art festival. The exhibit will show participants the wonders of ecosexuality by letting them shove their arms through a compost glory hole, stroke flowers with condoms on their fingers, and plenty of other weird junk.

“We believe the biggest sex organ is the brain, and that if we apply our faculties for imagination and sensory immersion to the environment, we can learn to love the earth and respect the diversity and intricacy that exist around us everyday,” the pair told News Au in May.

Come try on one of our ecosex morphs at @carriageworks #ecosexualbathhouse opens tomorrow from 6.30pm. Tickets at @performancespace

A photo posted by 🌿PONY EXPRESS🌿 (@helloponyexpress) on

Ecosexuality was invented by Beth Stephens and Annie Sprinkle, who publicly married the soil in 2014. The premise behind it is that if mankind can desire to f—k the earth, then mankind can desire to save it. I mean you wouldn’t let your significant other get pillaged for his/her resourses either, right?

Midnight special from the bathhouse with Blake ❤️🌿💋 photo by Heidrun Lohr

A photo posted by 🌿PONY EXPRESS🌿 (@helloponyexpress) on

So if you ever got a little sweat on your brow after rubbing up against an elm tree, head to the Sidney Arts Festival. You only have two days left (ends Nov. 5) to make your sex life just a little more natural.

❤️🌿❤️ @triple_j we be heading to Sydney next week! #Ecosex @carriageworks come visit xox💋

A photo posted by 🌿PONY EXPRESS🌿 (@helloponyexpress) on

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