Furious Rich Kids Marooned in Bahamas as Luxury Music Fest Goes Terribly Wrong

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By Heat Street Staff | 12:25 pm, April 28, 2017

Well, now we know how the world’s best and beautiful will handle the Apocalypse.

A new, maddeningly expensive music festival set on the Caribbean island has been axed after morphing into a hell zone with roving gangs of robbers and packs of feral dogs, according to reports from the scene.

With tickets ranging from $4,000 to $12,000, the Fyre Festival billed itself as a luxury event featuring “cultural moment created from an alchemic blend of music, art and food” and, most importantly, no poor people. Organized by hip-hop artist Ja Rule, the festival was supposed to feature performances from Blink-182, Skepta, and Rae Stremmurd.  If that sounds terrible (it should), you could instead stare at supermodels like Kendall Jenner, Bella Hadid, and Emily Ratajkowski, who were all supposed to make appearances.

Except rather than spend a weekend listening to terrible music and soaking in the sun, disaster struck from the very beginning.  Many attendees couldn’t get to the festival on time because of delayed flights, hurricane-type rain welcomed those who could get there in time, and the so-called luxury “cabanas” were “actually disaster relief tents.” Shortly after troubles began arising, the hashtag #fyrefestival started trending on Twitter.

Unsurprisingly, the folks who shelled out big bucks for the getaway weren’t too happy with the way things were going. Instead of the promised gourmet dining experience catered by celebrity chef Steven Starr, attendees were fed bread and cheese in what could only be interpreted as a massive social experiment to piss off the world’s most privileged people.


Aside from shitty food and bizarre, refugee-like housing, people reported serious security concerns. After landing, some complained about missing luggage. Another person created a Fyre Festival subreddit for stranded concert goers.

One individual said he was kicked out of his tent and was being herded by armed security guards, while others accused security of mugging them.

Another alleged guest recounted an apparent abduction:

“A group of locals in trucks took a passed out girl off her beach chair. One guy it might’ve been her friend, tried to fight them off but he got hit with a pipe or something. He’s just laying on the sand right now with head bleeding. The situation here is getting beyond dangerous.”

After realizing how quickly things were going south, local airports were swamped with people desperate to get home. The United States embassy in Nassau is helping travelers get back to civilization.

As of Friday morning, the festival is now “fully postponed,” according to a statement from the concert’s official Instagram account. Early in the morning, festival organizers asked guests to bear “with us as we work through the growing pains that every first year event experiences.”

Things were so bad that even the Bahamas Ministry of tourism released a statement offering a “heartfelt apology”:

“We are extremely disappointed in the way the events unfolded yesterday with the Fyre Festival. We offer a heartfelt apology to all who traveled to our country for this event.  Tourism is our number one industry and it is our aim to deliver world-class experiences and events. Hundreds of visitors to Exuma were met with total disorganization and chaos. The organizers of Fyre recently asked the Ministry of Tourism for support for their private event. The Ministry of Tourism is not an official sponsor of Fyre Festival. Given the magnitude of this undertaking, the MOT lent its support as we do with all international events. We offered advice and assisted with communications with other government agencies. The event organizers assured us that all measures were taken to ensure a safe and successful event but clearly they did not have the capacity to execute an event of this scale.  A team of Ministry of Tourism representatives is on the island to assist with the organization of a safe return of all Fyre Festival visitors. It is our hope that the Fyre Festival visitors would consider returning to the Islands Of The Bahamas in the future to truly experience all of our beauty.”

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