The “Vows” section in the New York Times is a must read for people who are fancy and enjoy reading about the time a “wonderfully quirky” climbing enthusiast fell in love with a “vivacious woman with [a] bright smile and long chestnut hair.”
That’s the story told in “The Gift of the Goat Sealed the Deal,” a Vows section special from October 14, celebrating the nuptial bliss of Shaun Reed, 32, and Cassandra Ilich, 26.
Because Ilich’s father immigrated to California from Serbia as a teenager, Mr. Reed made a secret trip to visit his future father-in-law to offer “a gift of livestock as a brideprice,” which is an old tradition in Serbia, or at least that’s what someone clever told him.
To be fair, this story is one of the less obnoxious ones that appear in the Times. The young couples celebrated in the Vows section are typically pasty scions of tweeded, old monied American dynasties. The “shy until you get to know him” rowing captain turned hedge fund partner and his loving bride, the “instantly charming” multilingual scholar who discovered a love for teaching children during a gap year in Tanzania, and who recently made partner at a law firm that advises hedge funds.
The Vows write-up of the Reed-Ilich wedding, however, does include this very New York Times correction:
A listing of highlights about the wedding of Cassandra Ilich and Shaun Reed, featured in the Vows column last Sunday, misstated the number of stones in her engagement ring. It has nine stones, not seven.
— Vivian Yee (@VivianHYee) October 25, 2016
In many ways, the Vows section is the most nauseating way in which the New York Times, an elite paper that is nominally/editorially aggrieved by income inequality in America, panders to the ultra-wealthy.
But it is not the most blatant example. That honor goes to the recently announced “Times Journeys” offering that will take members of the 1 percent on a world tour of despotic hotspots (Iran, Cuba, Morocco) aboard a luxury jet for just $135,000 per person. They’ll also get to hang out with New York Times columnists and take an “exclusive” tour of the newsroom.
It’s the ideal choice of honeymoon for insanely rich newlyweds who enjoy telling their friends about fascinating articles they read in the Times. Better yet, this private jet world tour is a great place to propose to that special someone. You’d be guaranteed a write-up in the Vows section, just make sure they count all the diamonds.
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