Canada Might Legalize Dueling, Which Means Canada is Officially Good Now

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By Joe Simonson | 7:23 am, June 10, 2017
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Canada’s Liberal government is passing a number of criminal justice reforms in an effort to rid its Criminal Code of “obsolete” and “redundant” provisions.  One of those rules on the chopping block? A ban on dueling, according to the Huffington Post Canada.

Hell yeah, Canada.

Clearly intimidated by America’s alpha, anti-cuckhold president, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s government is looking to remove S.71, which outlaws “challenges or attempts by any means to provoke another person to fight a duel,” which carries a maximum of two years in the slammer.

It’s a mere start for our northern socialist neighbor, but we’ll take it.

Justice Minister and Attorney General of Canada Jody Wilson-Raybould announced the changes to the criminal code this week.

The last person to die in a duel in Canada was back in 1833 when two men got into a scuffle over a love triangle featuring a young school teacher.  (Sounds like a Heat Street story!)  Anyway, one guy died from gunshot wounds, and I guess the entire country decided to cut its collective balls off shortly thereafter.

A government release says the proposed legislation “would amend or repeal a number of provisions in the Criminal Code in order to ensure they are compliant with the Charter, and to make the law more relevant in our modern society.”  In an era where cuckholding is now the slur in fashion, I can’t think of a better time to eliminate any laws against dueling.  It’s time for 4chan-posting anime-pillow lovers to put their money where their mouth is and challenge Tumblr liberals to duels next time Trump is slandered online.

“Several Criminal Code offenses that were enacted many years ago… are no longer relevant or required today,” the government wrote.

The legislation will also strengthen Canada’s sexual assault laws as well repeal bans on “fraudulently pretending to practice witchcraft, pretending to exercise or to use any kind of witchcraft, sorcery, enchantment or conjuration,” and “issuing trading stamps.”

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