Canada Encourages Teens to ‘Sext’ Photos of Naked Mole Rats Instead of Their Dicks

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By Emily Zanotti | 1:30 pm, June 2, 2017
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The Canadian Center for Child Protection, which is trying to end the scourge of “sextortion” in Canada, says kids who are asked for pictures of their genitalia over text should instead just send pictures of naked mole rats.

According to the charity, which is allied with the Canadian government, “sextortion” —or extortion using graphic, often naked photos—is a growing problem among Canadian youths. If kids want to avoid pictures of their junk being used later for blackmail, they’ll send their friends and neighbors photos of the adorable, hairless African rodent instead.

The logic is flawless: naked mole rats, which are among natures “most extraordinary creatures,” are about 4 inches long, completely hairless and kind of look like a human penis (though they do have large buck teeth and beady eyes). One of CCP’s instructors even told kids that the animal is “long, veiny, and fleshy…you can call it Willy.”

CCP even has pictures of the mole rat available on its website in case kids can’t use Google to find one of their own.

Sextortion is a significant problem in Canada—even if the CCP seems to have strange ideas on how to fight it. Some 54,000 cases of extortion involving nude or semi-nude photos sent over Facebook are reported to authorities every month, according to the Times of London.

In the US and UK, nearly 100 kids a day fall victim to some sort of scam, where an adult male poses as a teenage girl and asks a young boy to send nudes. Once those pictures are sent, CCP says, there’s no telling where they’ll end up—and the Internet is forever.

They do admit that the naked mole rat idea is a little farfetched, but say kids might remember it better than a simple instruction not to send pictures of their junk to random people they meet online. The naked mole rats, meanwhile, have not responded to allegations they basically look like penises—a characteristic they probably haven’t recognized, because they’re blind.