A Stoner’s Guide to Surviving a Trump Presidency

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By William Hicks | 9:27 pm, November 9, 2016

The many unknowns of the upcoming Trump presidency are causing some people to totally freak out, man. But luckily with every yin comes a yang, and four new states (Massachusetts, California, Nevada and Maine) legalized weed this week, giving Americans a much needed method to chill out…man.

Some are already claiming they will endure a Trump presidency by simply being stoned the entire time.

While on the other side Trump supporters are lighting up in celebration.

So what will the life of a stoner be like under Trump.? Will he make toking great again or work to roll back states’ legalization efforts? So many questions, and we have some answers.


What Is Trump’s stance on pot?

Like many of his positions, Donald’s pot plan is not exactly planned out yet. A strict teetotaler himself, Trump is vocally anti-drug, but has said he would leave legalization up to the states. Trump favors medical marijuana but not recreational.

In all probability marijuana will be a very low priority for the Trump campaign, and nothing will be done to help or hinder pot reform (at least not in the first term).

Any push for stricter weed laws would probably come from within his administration from law-and-order politicians like Rudy Giuliani and Chris Christie. When Christie ran for president he emphatically stated there would be no more legal pot in Colorado if he won.


How much would it cost to live the entire Trump presidency in a foggy stoned stupor? 

Many of Trump’s detractors probably want to know if they can blast their brains back to the stone age with quality buds in order to coast the next four years in blissful ignorance. But is that an affordable option?

It’s a tough question as weed varies state by state. But let’s say you’re getting recreational weed in Colorado, you’d buy for about 10 bucks a gram. A gram a day spaced out probably would stave off most Trump-related anxiety.

So you’re looking at about $14,600 for the first term.

But that’s not even factoring in tolerance chances. Or what if Trump starts a war? That might take more even more weed.

Lets just say the $14k is on the low end of weed comatosing your way out of Trump’s first term.


Will the wall on the Mexican border make my weed more expensive?

Probably not. Most pot smoked in America comes from the West Coast, Colorado or Canada. Not too many people smoke pot smuggled from Mexico anymore.

Unless you’re living in a border state where pot is still strictly illegal—and where you may get some Mexican marijuana—it won’t affect you.


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