The Katy Perry/Taylor Swift feud is a feud as old as time itself. Like the Persians and the Greeks, Romans and barbarians, Eminem and Moby, this archetypal conflict gives a glimpse into the raw reality of the human condition.
Everything you need to know about divisive American politics can be explained through the Katy Perry/Taylor Swift feud. Or more precisely, the current addled state of online political flame wars. One that pits ironic, inflammatory internet trolls of the alt right against the earnest, do-gooder “normies,”of the liberal establishment. A battle where the trolls win, while further distancing themselves from the society they both reject and feed off.
The feud began in 2013 when Perry allegedly swiped some of Swift’s backup dancers, jeopardizing her tour. It’s been war since, with Swift alluding to Perry in Bad Blood, and Perry hitting back with subtle jabs at Swift in the song Swish Swish.
The war became hot on Friday, when Swift released her entire discography on Spotify—the same day Perry released her new album Witness. The move by Swift was presumably to take the thunder out of Perry’s album drop, and it worked. “Taylor Swift” was trending on Twitter, with no signs of life from Perry’s Witness. It was clear that Taytay won this day.
On Saturday, Perry forgave Swift. In an interview with Arianna Huffington, Perry said, “I forgive her and I’m sorry for anything I ever did.” However, this war is far from over.
But there’s a reason these two are fighting, beyond the surface-level passive/aggressive slap fight between two rich white ladies. They represent the two extremes of deranged internet politics, whether they know it or not.
Team Katy: The Pizzagate Liberal Establishment
Perry wears her politics on her sleeve. She campaigned vigorously for Hillary Clinton in the 2016 election, and now describes herself as “woke.”
“[Hillary] woke the sleeping giant and there’s something bigger than her, than me, than any one person that is happening right now,” Perry told NME. “Something brilliant is really happening, which is: People are waking up. People are waking up and we wouldn’t have… we would have continued in the same pattern, in the same way, in the same comfort, in the same utopia.”
Perry represents the conventional politics of some random white chick you met in college. Formed from Saturday Night Live skits and Daily Show features. She’s the type to use #resist at the end of tweets and wear pink pussy hats to the Women’s March.
For this earnestness and naivety, internet conspiracy junkies believe her a willing instrument of the Illuminati and even an accomplice of Pizzagate, the online conspiracy that posits high levels of the Democratic National Committee operate a child sex ring in the underground caverns connecting DC pizza shops.
Just reading the InfoWars.com headlines about Perry, her connections to the globalist world order is clear.
“KATY PERRY: ILLUMINATI PRIESTESS CONDUCTS WITCHCRAFT CEREMONY IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE WORLD” and “KATY PERRY’S MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX PROPAGANDA” shed investigative light on Perry’s cozy relationship with the establishment.
Even her current Twitter profile pic seems reminiscent of the Illuminati’s all-seeing eye.
Like Clinton running against Trump, Perry was always on the defensive in the feud. Her weak liberal constitution allowed her to do nothing but play the victim against the subversive war Swift waged.
Months ago on the Late, Late Show With James Corden, Perry addressed the beef. “Honestly, it’s like, she started it and it’s time for her to finish it,” she said.
“I said that but, I mean, I’m not Buddha – things irritate me,” Perry told NME. “I wish that I could turn the other cheek every single time, but I’m also not a pushover, you know? Especially when someone tries to assassinate my character with little girls. That’s so messed up!”
Team Taylor: Crypto-fascist internet troll
If Perry represents the occult neoliberal political establishment, Swift represents the aggrieved neo-reactionary outsider. Her inscrutable political brand has become a beacon for incels, Kekistani trolls and black-pilled Americans.
Swift never discusses politics publicly. The only proof she even knew the 2016 election even happened was a cryptic “I voted” Instagram post.
Unlike Perry, Swift does not publicly attempt to manipulate the minds of the public. In a 2012 interview she said, “I don’t talk about politics because it might influence other people. And I don’t think that I know enough in life to be telling people who to vote for.”
Swift is smooth operator. While Perry openly flaunts her Illuminati mind control, Swift enacts her agenda, anonymously and behind the scenes.
Look how she manipulated Kanye, during her beef with his song Famous, or how she was able to instigate a feud with Perry that resulted in Swift blowing up the PR on Perry’s album. Swift operates in the shadows, as a saboteur. Think of her as Heath Ledger’s anarcho-capitalist Joker in Dark Knight. Like Trump she plays 4D chess, under budget and ahead of schedule.
Taylor is an internet troll.
Here me out. While there is no proof Swift voted for Trump, there is a fair amount of evidence that she browsed 4chan at one point.
Above is various circumstantial evidence of Swift’s involvement in the 4chan message board. The same message board that spawned an army of Trump supporting Pepe trolls, that scoured Twitter during the election.
Swift is considered an Aryan goddess to the lonely, unlaid white supremacists, who frequent 4chan/pol/. Her enigmatic personality, stark blonde hair, and possible connections to the site, give the trolls a hero, a potential double agent, working for them in mainstream popular culture.
Taylor Swift’s public persona screams of fascism. Her prolific “#GirlSquad” of girlfriends are white. leggy, mostly blond—like something out of the propaganda of Joseph Goebbels.
The problematic feminist Camille Paglia said of Swift and her entourage, “Taylor Swift is a horrific ordeal for me because her twinkly persona is such a scary flashback to the fascist blondes who ruled the social scene during my youth.”
Writing for Breitbart, Milo Yiannopoulos declared Swift an “alt right pop icon” in 2016 and the white supremacist website, The Daily Stormer has an entire category devoted to the pop star.
Like Perry, glimpses of Swift’s politics come out in her music videos. In Wildest Dreams, Swift and a white, studly boy toy gallivant around rural Africa in colonialist garb. The video was decried as racist for depicting an Africa with no black people. Is this a wink to fascist neo-colonialism, or just a culturally insensitive blunder? It’s hard to tell behind those cold Aryan eyes.
Presumably of Perry, Swift once said, “For years, I was never sure if we were friends or not. She would come up to me at awards shows and say something and walk away, and I would think, ‘Are we friends, or did she just give me the harshest insult of my life?'”
This is classic aggrieved beta loner behavior. Not picking up on social cues, and fearing your personal acquaintances, like society at large is only looking to use you and toss you away.
You guys still reading? Good. Time to get all deep and intelligent and sheet.
Taylor and Katy’s feud is America. It is the 2016 election. It is the darker nature of American pop culture, which pits neighbor against neighbor in a meaningless conflict of egos.
Perry has tried to be the better person by ending the feud. This is just a smokescreen. Like the Democratic party trying to court coal miners and middle American working class they insulted and belittled over the years, Katy doesn’t truly want to shutter this publicity gold mine.
Perry is sincere on the outside and insincere on the inside. Swift has a wholesome insincere veneer, while inside lurks a monstrous, calculating troll of uncompromising realness. I think. Probably.
These two pop icons, represent the darker, latent subconscious of the left and the right. Although they may not hold these views themselves, their personalities have captured the internet’s imagination and warped them into symbols of partisan evil. Perry represents the indulgences of a corrupt establishment, and Swift, the id of the aggrieved reactionary outcast, troubled by a changing world. These two irreconcilable forces come together like an unmovable object an an unstoppable force.
So yeah, it’s basically Dark Knight.