I certainly won’t be tuning in to the BAFTAs this Sunday. Or to the Oscars on February 26th.
Not because they offend my conservative sensibilities. No, I’m not worried about sitting through a parade of Meryl Streep-style denunciations of President Trump.
I’m just bored stiff by the movies up for awards.
Has there been a more overrated bunch of contenders than the sorry lot of Oscar Best Picture nominees competing this year?
Let’s get La La Land out of the way first, since it’s going to clean up (the numbing predictability of the Oscars is another reason the ceremony has become such a turn off).
Yes, Damian Chazelle’s film is nice and well made but the story is thin and uninvolving. It’s not nearly as charming as it thinks it is, chiefly because Ryan Gosling’s pianist Sebastian is a terrible old jazz bore; less super-cool enthusiast, more uptight nerd.
It’s certainly not as inventive or delightful as The Artist which won Best Picture in 2012, another Hollywood tale and celebration of an old movie-making form. Still, it’s a light and mildly pleasant distraction from grim times (hence the box office success) which you can’t say about most of the other nominees.
If there is an upset on February 26th, it’s likely to be supplied by Moonlight, Barry Jenkins’s achingly uneventful coming-of-age drama about a gay African-American child growing up in a tough Miami neighborhood.
It’s sensitive and well acted but where was the story? The lead character Chiron (played by three different actors) is so reticent he borders on dull.
If it’s boring you want, then check out Manchester By Sea with hot Best Actor favorite Casey Affleck as a sad soul suffocating with grief and regret. He’s a deeply unfortunate but very uninteresting man.
Please let’s not equate misery with profundity. What did I learn? Make sure your smoke detector is working.
What about Fences, based on the play by August Wilson? Well, it’s chock full of Big Acting Moments performed with relish by Denzel Washington and Viola Davis but it’s all suffocatingly stagey and repetitive. A great vehicle for Washington, who also got to direct, but incredibly trying for the rest of us.
Mel Gibson’s Hacksaw Ridge is gruesomely watchable but you can’t help feeling he’s simply using the story of conscientious objector Desmond Doss as an excuse to indulge in the merry slaughter he seems to get such a kick out of creating.
Lion falls apart in the second half (can someone please tell me what Rooney Mara was doing in the film?) and Arrival is preposterous and self-important with another dud turn from Jeremy Renner (Whoever decided he is a leading man should apologize when they next have a spare moment.)
Which leaves Hell Or High Water and the superb Hidden Figures. The former is a gripping, intelligent and richly atmospheric bank heist drama, the latter a soul-stirring and inspirational true story. It’s only flaw? It’s too darn entertaining.
Don’t think the overrated films are restricted to the Best Picture category either. There are nominations for Tom Ford’s trite Nocturnal Animals and the madly irritating Captain Fantastic starring the nominated Viggo Mortensen. If there’s been a more annoying screen character in the last 12 months than Mortensen’s sanctimonious hippy Ben Cash it’s passed me by.
The only bright spot? No nominations for Martin Scorsese’s self-indulgent and grossly long-winded ‘epic’ Silence.
What’s going on? Why are so many duff movies being garlanded with praise and trophies.
I reckon part of the reason is that critics, even though they’re facing more media-related pressure than ever, continue to live in their own self-important bubble, reviewing for the estimation of their peers rather than the regular filmgoer. Yes folks, they comprise another elite—a smug and disconnected cabal.
My vote for Best Picture would go to hit animation Zootopia, an effortless, hugely inventive blend of detective story, buddy comedy and social commentary. (It’s the most effective critique of the Donald Trump era I’ve seen from Hollywood.)
In fact, family films should be leading in all categories. I’d vote for The Jungle Book and Moana, possibly even Captain America: Civil War and Rogue One.
Clint Eastwood’s masterful Sully should be a leading contender, as should Florence Foster Jenkins (but whoops it’s a “comedy”, ditto John Carney’s delightful Sing Street).
So, count me out of this year’s “awards season”. On February 26th I’ll be watching Sean Spicer’s White House press briefings instead on YouTube. Much more fun!
