Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Is the Most Pro-Trump Film Since Home Alone 2

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By William Hicks | 12:18 pm, December 16, 2016

Rogue One was gearing up to be quite the culture war milestone. It began with the film’s writers, Garry Whitta and Chris Weitz, freaking out over Trump post election and unintentionally framing the movie as “anti-Trump.” Then Trump supporters freaked out and spread fake news that the film’s extensive reshoots were made to add anti-Trump themes and messaging to the movie.

Then Disney freaked out, fearing a boycott, and declared Rougue One “not political.” Then liberal media outlets (sort of) freaked out and wrote all these think pieces playing up the inherent liberal values of the series.

But oh boy, were they all wrong: Rogue One is without a doubt the most pro-Trump film since Home Alone 2: Lost in New Yorka film where Trump helped a lost boy find his way, clearly displaying the gravitas required to be president.

Rogue One celebrates and cherishes the victory of Trump and his eclectic band of compatriots against seemingly insurmountable forces (the globalists).

It all began with the reshoots. While Trump supporters thought these reshoots were made to malign Trump, they actually were done to encourage Americans to accept his coming presidency.

You can tell the difference by looking at the trailers. In first cinematic trailer, the lead Jyn Erso’s key line was “It’s a rebellion, I rebel.” This line was cut from the film. But in the next trailer, the key line was “Rebellions are built on hope.” A clear tonal shift orchestrated by the reshoots.

Disney clearly saw something the pollsters and pundits didn’t: a decisive Trump victory. To prepare for the fallout of the tremendous upset, they retooled the film to help the American people accept Trump as their new leader. Instead of encouraging rebellion (because that could start a riot), they encouraged hope, hope in Trump’s own rebellion. The movie has the “just give him a shot” attitude that the American people should be feeling towards Trump at the moment.

And not just the tone, the entire film is an allegory of the 2016 election. Trump of course being the spirited, braggadocious, and sexy lead Jyn Erso (played by Felicity Jones). Jyn is confident in her abilities, but relies on the help of her friends (Steve Bannon and Kellyanne Conway). She joins a failing Rebellion and (this CANNOT be a coincidence) makes it great again.

Hillary Clinton of course would be the film’s villain, Director Krennic. Krennic’s character flaws come directly from his incompetence and thirst for power. He thinks he “deserves” to be commander of the Death Star based solely on his qualifications and work experience, but he lacks the panache to truly earn the position. His screw-ups in the movie are a result of his hubris (think email scandal), and he is eventually defeated by the much better looking and likable Jyn Erso.

Obama, of course, would be Darth Vader. The brooding presence in the background of the film whose actions have no impact on the final outcome. Despite having complete mastery of the force (or the globalist US government,) he cannot stop Jyn and her pals from achieving their goal.

The list goes on. Roger Stone would be Forrest Whitaker’s Saw Gerrera, whose radical tactics make him both an outcast and an invaluable asset to the rebellion. Jyn’s love interest, Cassian Andor (Diego Luna), would have to be Melania as they both are eye candy with accents from somewhere in Europe I’ve never heard of. The imperial pilot played by Riz Ahmed, who smuggled out private communications to the Rebellion, would be none other than Julian Assange.

And maybe this is a stretch but John Podesta would be Mads Mikkelsen’s character, Jyn’s father Galen Erso. Erso both designed the Death Star (the Clinton campaign) but also was responsible for its destruction through the thermal exhaust port weakness he built (ie the massive email leak). That would then technically make John Podesta Trump’s father, but who’s the hell’s keeping track.

The culture war framing by the media of this film was so off-base and absurd. How could this movie have a leftwing message when the globalists are so clearly the real evil in the world. The empire and the globalists have always had the same objective of “uniting” the galaxy under one government (United Nations). Trump and his pals were always the anti-establishment upshots, who despite lacking the resources of the Clinton imperial star fleet (local campaign offices and staffers) defeated her handily.

And am I the only one who got an “Emperor Palpatine” vibe off Hillary?

Rogue One is the Animal Farm of our time. A beautifully told allegory of current event. Praise should go to Whitta and Weitz for so lovingly portraying the brilliant victory of our soon-to-be 45th president. A fitting tribute to a stellar campaign, fought with gusto, heart, and astounding courage. The Rebellion is in good hands with Donald J. Trump.

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