Millennial sex juggernaut and Girls creator Lena Dunham has promised to move to Canada if Donald Trump becomes president. It might not be enough to swing the election in Trump’s favor, but it couldn’t hurt.
“That would be a great thing for our country,” Trump said Tuesday when asked about the various celebrities who have threatened to leave country if he wins.
Who Said It: Donald Trump or Kim Kardashian? (Quiz)
Trump is right, but it would be an even greater thing for the country if he didn’t become president and these five celebrities (plus Lena Dunham) moved to Canada anyway.
Bruno Mars
We need to get him out immediately to make sure this never happens:
i'm already mad about the bruno mars prince tribute medley at next year's grammys
— andy levy (@andylevy) April 21, 2016
Neil deGrasse Tyson
The stars will shine much brighter in the Canadian wilderness, which is where Neil deGrasse Tyson should live, ideally someplace where the internet connect is shoddy enough to prevent him from tweeting nonsense and ruining everything.
Piers Morgan
He doesn’t really live in the U.S. anymore; we sent him back to London after he failed to make it as a host on CNN. But he should still be forced to move to Canada. The British have suffered enough.
Ezra Klein
He would probably enjoy writing columns about “Why Canada Is Better Than America” or “Why Vegan Poutine Is Better Than It Sounds” or “Six Reasons Why Hockey Explains The Islamic State” or “What Is The Plural of Moose?”
In his spare time he could do a reality show with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in which the duo uses data journalism and boyish good looks to solve mysteries on the gritty streets of Ottawa.
Ted Cruz
Even if he wins the presidential election, Cruz should give up on his political career, return to his birth country and focus on his (much more promising) music career. It would also allow him to more easily avoid capture for the California killing spree he embarked on in the late 1960s.
Editor’s note: You’re probably thinking, “Why isn’t Shia LeBouf on this list?” And that’s a totally reasonable question. But forcing Shia LeBouf to move to Canada would only encourage him. Don’t encourage Shia LeBouf.
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