After months of soul-searching during which she graced us with some of the most astute Twitter political commentary ever, found her path to Islam, donned a burkini on a Thai beach and developed a fervent passion for Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan, it looks like LiLo has finally found her calling.
Child actress-turned-trainwreck Lindsay Lohan announced on Instagram this week that she will soon be launching her very own lifestyle website: preemium.
Following in the footsteps of Gwyneth Paltrow, for a mere $2.99 the “Parent Trap” star promises to grant thousands of prepubescent fans access to her “exclusive” world.
According to E News!, the site will serve as a hosting platform for different celebrities and influencers to share their best-kept fashion, fitness and lifestyle secrets and will feature “personal diaries, video updates, breaking news, fashion and beauty tutorials, shopping guides” as well as “behind the scenes content.”
While it’s true that GOOP will be hard to topple when it comes to terrible celebrity lifestyle tips (after all, we have Gwyneth to thank for introducing us to vaginal “steam cleaning,” “spirit dust” and libido-boosting jade eggs), we have full confidence in Lohan’s ability to draw on her wealth of personal experience to deliver cutting-edge content.
And if the teasers she’s released on social are anything to go by, something tells me that we are in for a treat. Between exclusive footage of her cooking scallops on a boat, fresh-faced kissy selfies and #workoutmotivations, LiLo had us jumping up and down with excitement this week.
My gut tells me that future vlogs might include: “How to Avoid Getting Racially Profiled at the Airport: A Practical Guide for Gingers” or “Ditch the Botox! 3 Natural Ways to Get Pouty Lips With Watermelon Rinds.”