Hell yeah. It’s Father’s Day. The one day I can say “boys rule, girls drool” without being called a misogynist, or at least I think that’s what the holiday’s all about.
But not everyone’s down with this annual patriarchal enthusiasm. Gawker’s women’s blog Jezebel is having an absolute meltdown over literally one day a year where we give credit to men, where we aren’t supposed to un-ironically tweet about how all men are trash. Oh wait, Gawker was murdered by a gay billionaire, so now they’re corporately owned by Univision.
Here’s a taste of Jezebel’s tweeting today.
Yep, the one person we should totally be thanking on Father’s day is mom. It’s not like there’s an entire day literally one month ago we could do that. You’d think the fact that Father’s Day happens every year would brace these breathless bloggers for what happened Sunday (yet another Father’s Day).
Probably the best (by best, I mean worst) article published Sunday on Jezebel was an outright admittance of their daddy issues in the form of their article “You Don’t Have Daddy Issues But Your Piece of Shit Father Might.
Here’s a cut up selection of Basic Jezebel Writer #5’s handiwork:
Until recently, I’d never been on the website AskMen.com, I suppose largely because I never had the occasion to ask a man anything…. I found the page threatening. If this was the second result when googling “daddy issues,” then there was one of two things going on: either the idea of “daddy issues” had been downgraded to…. an outdated, monstrous, and completely wrongheaded idea….. Daddy issues: the issue of men finding it easy to throw away the responsibility of fatherhood, the issue of all of us excusing them.
Yeah, fuck men, amirite? Why aren’t we talking about absentee fathers on Father’s Day?
Honestly there’s nothing to be mad about Jezebel throwing a hissy fit about men on Father’s Day (I’m not mad, did I say I was mad?). It’s like lions feeding on the gazelle, simply part of the natural order.
Just like we at Heat Street will be enthusiastically thanking our fathers this day for instilling in us toxic masculinity and internalized misogyny that we now can channel into a successful career writing articles and cashing paychecks.
Thank you dad, and thank you, Jezebel.