Remember last Christmas season, the day after Halloween, when we rushed out of our homes furiously constructing our three-tiered, animatronic manger displays, only to find out later that Starbucks ruined it all with their damned red cups?
Now they have the gall to do it again! Starbucks found a way to literally strangle to death my holiday spirit with godless green cups that do not include any mention of baby Jesus, Santa Claus, Frosty or Rudolph. They couldn’t even bother with a shitty Christmas character like Heat Miser.
RT if you think @Starbucks is trying to take Jesus out of Christmas with the new cup. Make this go viral so Starbucks makes cups red again. pic.twitter.com/KjscsgpAxQ
— Jazmine H (@JazzHandd) November 1, 2016
Lots of people on these new holiday cups BUT NONE OF THEM ARE JESUS @starbucks pic.twitter.com/2hIhoYFHNB
— Alex Lewis (@the_alex_lewis) November 1, 2016
How dare Starbucks not put a naked baby Jesus on our coffee cups this blessed season? Do they really hate America and babies THAT much?
— Larissa (@DaphneDoo_) November 1, 2016
But that’s not the only way Starbucks is crushing Christmas. The giant coffee chain is calling this year’s monstrosity the “unity” cup. Unity? Like communism. That would make more sense last year with the red cup, but this cup is green.
Hmm, what else is unified…. ISIS!!?! The unified caliphate of the Islamic State!
Even the cup looks like the flag of the Arab League, no doubt a soon-to-be addition to ISIS.
One is the Starbucks “holiday” “unity” cup. The other is the official flag of the Arab League. Can u tell the difference? pic.twitter.com/BOhwRDOwdW
— Biff Diddle (@BiffDiddle) November 1, 2016
Has Starbucks even publicly denounced “radical islamic terrorism?” I didn’t think so.
Whatever the reason for this year’s heinous displays, the pinko hippies in Seattle need to go back to their stupid fish markets and leave Christmas to the real Americans.
Follow me on Twitter @William__Hicks
