Today marks the beginning of Black History Month to remember the contributions made Black Americans. But online publication The Root owned by Univision had a different idea: use the month to shame and mock white people because, well, it’s fun!
In an article written by Michael Harriot titled “The Last Black History Month“, he suggested it’s the time to “make this Black History Month one for the ages” because Trump might just abolish it and suggested a 4-point program how to make it enjoyable.
“There is nothing more enjoyable,” Harriot says than, “Making wypipo think it is an actual holiday.” The term wypipo is a Twitter slang for white people.
He suggested Black Americans should “break down crying” in front of co-workers and then after being asked what’s wrong, “tell them that you can’t believe no one in the office remembered that it was Black History Month.”
“Ask them why they hate your people,” he added. “They will immediately become defensive and open to any suggestion. They’ll also be a little bit excited because wypipo love holidays—even ones that have nothing to do with them.”
The “comic genius” that is Harriot then said: “Remind them Black History Month is just like St. Patrick’s Day, but instead of wearing green, they should wear kente cloth every day. Think of how much fun you’ll have watching them come in every day in dashikis and African prints, looking like Great Value Rachel Dolezals.”
“Trust me, they’ll do it, because it combines the two greatest Y.P. Pull pastimes: costumes and cultural appropriation.”
The author then listed other points how to make this Black History Month stand out. “Just for this month, spend your money with black people,” after all, according to Harriot, “when Trump’s economic policies destroy the white middle class, [white people’s] bread will be soggy and moldy from white tears anyway.”
The Root contributor also urged people not to let white people slide and fight every microaggression committed by them, saying “let’s use this time to make white people better.”
“When your liberal Caucasian friends use euphemisms like ‘inner city’ and ‘urban,’ inform them that the word ‘black’ is not a pejorative. When co-workers switch into their cool ebonics code-switch, remind them that you speak fluent wypipo,” he wrote.
Lastly, Harriot encourages Black people to educate white people with made-up facts. “Tell your Uber driver that archaeologists recently discovered that the ancient Egyptians used an ancient form of ride-sharing to build the pyramids.”
“They will never know if you’re telling the truth or not, because American history is one big alternative fact, from Christopher Columbus’ discovery of America to George Washington’s cherry tree to Abraham Lincoln’s title as ‘the Great Emancipator.'”
Sounds really fun.
