If you’re Catholic, you might spend Lent staying away from potato chips or booze, or collecting stray cats from alleyways (I’m so alone).
But that’s just not enough, mortals. Catholic writer Christopher J. Hale has convinced himself he’s the most righteous man of us all: He’s “acknowledging [his] privilege” for Lent.
In a piece for Time Magazine, Hale rambles about how “Lent is nothing short of a radical ancient invitation to reject the emerging dictatorship of superficiality that too often sullies our lives,” and refers to Jesus Christ as the “the great protagonist of this holy season.” Protagonist—just like Gandalf or Chandler from “Friends.”
Hale goes on to proclaim how there’s “nothing better for [him] to do this Lent than to abstain and fast from the sexism that too often colors my life.” Move over, Mother Teresa. Who knows, maybe if Saint Peter whined about the wage gap instead of spreading the word of Jesus, he could have convinced Nero not to crucify him.
But all of this business about privilege is really a distraction from the true meaning of Lent: Opposing President Donald Trump. After all, Hales writes, “His election certainly reminds us that sexism still runs rampant in the world’s longest-lasting democratic republic.”
Thus, according to Hale, it’s a Christian’s duty “to take charge of the mystery of suffering and pain that has tied humanity down since the dawn of creation and each of us since the moment of our conception”—that pain being sexism, of course.
The specifics of giving up sexism for Lent don’t matter much to Hale—”it will play out in the minutiae of [Hale’s] daily life.” Just know that such an arduous task will help him “find new life and eventual freedom from this disease of sexism that is a total affront to my faith.”
If you gave up booze for Lent, I recommend staying away from lefty columnists like Hale—because if you don’t, you’re going to end up needing a drink.