I grew up considering myself a feminist.
I loved and admired my mother hugely since she was a woman who worked and excelled in her business. I didn’t want to be a subordinate to men or to be kept by them or belittled my them. I lived my life on my own terms and accepted (with difficulty at times) that I was responsible for my own successes and failures and for making my own living.
Today, however, I would be considered an old-school feminist in wanting equal pay for the same jobs and equal opportunity (at least for all jobs where a certain level of physical strength isn’t a prerequisite) and, of course, equal rights and equal respect.
It seems that feminism has taken a much more intense pendulum swing in a direction that means that I no longer feel comfortable calling myself a feminist. It’s gotten that bad. We have various feminists now calling for “the end of the patriarchy” and some others still are saying in varying states of hysteria: “I hate men!”
Many of us look at these extremes and think it’s only a few who feel this way, but tragically that side of extreme male-hating feminism is on the rise and has been for some time. It is no longer about equal pay, equal opportunity, respect and equal rights. It is now about “women first” and screw the men (not in the good way!)
A video went viral recently featuring a woman, Jenny McDermott, stating “kill all male babies.” I actually feel sorry for her.
I feel sorry for a lot of these male-hating females and militant-grade feminists. My hope is that instead of reacting with extreme hate to all men because of their prior experiences from a few awful men, that they take the high road. Heal oneself (with all the help and therapy you need). Empower oneself.
After all, isn’t that what feminism is really all about? Many women, including myself, have had horrible incidences with men. An abusive father; an abusive boyfriend; date rape; sexual assault/attempted rape by a stranger on the street who stalked you; interactions with real (and not just perceived) misogynists who don’t pay attention to anything you say or suggest in a social or work situation simply because you are female. Finding out you got paid less than a man for the same job.
Many females have been through the gamut with awful men. But should that make us hate all men from a place of fear, resentment, childish hysteria and victimization? We must come to terms with the fact there are awful people, male and female.
The hatred of the “patriarchy” is like a cancer now: multiplying and festering in the worst possible ways. It is infiltrating all aspects of our society, to the point where a young college woman can lie and accuse a man of rape and destroy his life, reputation and future simply because she changed her mind after doing the deed and didn’t want to be seen as easy or a slut and so lies to save face.
Ultimately she faces no punishment for destroying that man’s life. Because “he’s a man” and “men are horrible.” Wasn’t feminism also about being able to do the same as a man? If she wanted to have a one-night stand she could. If she wanted multiple partners, she could. As a true feminist, why would she worry about a silly stigma of being a “slut” or being “easy?” Isn’t that part of female empowerment?
But this new female-centric society born out of this male bashing form of feminism also creeps in in other more subtle ways. Like with sexual crimes. If feminism were on the right track of equality, then shouldn’t that also mean equal sentencing for crimes committed? For instance, if an older man had sex with an underage girl (or boy) and he was convicted in a court of law, then shouldn’t it stand to reason that if an older women has sex with an underage girl or boy and they were convicted, they both receive similar sentences?
That doesn’t seem to be the case. Take the case of Jade Hatt, a 21-year-old babysitter convicted of having sex with an 11-year-old boy. She received a suspended sentence after being convicted of unlawful sexual activity with a child. I’m pretty certain a 21-year-old man convicted of having sex with an 11-year-old girl he was babysitting would not have merely received a suspended sentence.
There are the seemingly endless rash of news stories involving women teachers all over the country having sex with under-age male pupils. There is Debra LaFave, the 23-year-old English teacher who had multiple sexual encounters with her 14-year-old student, for which she received no jail time. And 28-year-old Haeli Noelle Wey, a math teacher who also had sexual relationships with two of her young male students. Wey was arrested and charged, yet released on bond and also yet has to do a day of jail time for the crimes.
So is it okay for women to sexually assault minors? Because it’s kinda “hot” right? The whole young boy with the older sexy woman scenario? That’s all right apparently, but older men with younger girls isn’t.
Let’s call this out for what it is: female empowerment gone horribly wrong. Crime and sexual assault can never be justified regardless of what sex the perpetrator is.
It seems too that many right-on metrosexual males are ready to jump on that “women are better” bandwagon and denounce what they are (a male) because this growing brand of feminism calls for men to hate who they are.
Let’s stop the pendulum swinging from one extreme to another and get it straight down the middle. Not, women are better or men are better. When can we even out the playing field and take back the feminist movement from the male haters, from the childish, hysterical fear-filled victims.
Men and women are the same, but different. That’s true equality, and we need to embrace all of it.