Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop Urges Women to Stick Eggs Inside their Nether Regions

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By Heat Street Staff | 6:28 pm, January 12, 2017
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Having put her acting career on hold, Gwyneth Paltrow now seems to be in the business of laying eggs.

Having previously showcased vaginal steaming and laser treatments in the nether regions, Goop‘s latest newsletter hypes the work of Shiva Rose, who advocates sticking jade eggs into the female genitalia. Goop pushes the idea with the headline: “Better Sex: Jade Eggs for Your Yoni.”

Goop argues their interest in Rose’s eggs, which they sell on their site, is rooted in ancient Asian history: “The strictly guarded secret of Chinese royalty in antiquity—queens and concubines used them to stay in shape for emperors—jade eggs harness the power of energy work, crystal healing and a Kegel-like physical practice.

“Fans say regular use increases chi, orgasms, vaginal muscle tone, hormonal balance, and feminine energy in general. Shiva Rose has been practicing with them for about seven years, and raves about the results; we tried them, too, and were so convinced we put them into the goop shop.”

Rose, who used to be married to American Horror Story actor Dylan McDermott, tells Goop that the jade eggs or rose quartz eggs in the vagina makes ‘intuitive sense’: “The word for our womb, yoni, translates as “sacred place,” and it is a sacred place—it’s where many women access their intuition, their power, and their wisdom. It’s this inner sanctum that we can access when it’s not in use creating life.

“Sadly most people use it as a psychic trash bin, storing old or negative energy. I see it as a place to celebrate ourselves as sexual, powerful beings, or as mothers, not a place to carry negative or un-dealt-with emotions.”

She adds in the interview, which was apparently conducted while she was in a state of complete sobriety: “Jade eggs can help cultivate sexual energy, increase orgasm, balance the cycle, stimulate key reflexology around vaginal walls, tighten and tone, prevent uterine prolapse, increase control of the whole perineum and bladder, develop and clear chi pathways in the body, intensify feminine energy, and invigorate our life force. To name a few!”

Happily Rose practices what she preaches:”I found myself frustrated in the beginning when I didn’t feel things happen right away—it takes around a month of daily use to really start perceiving the results. Now, of course, I miss it if I don’t do it…once sexually active, women of any age respond to the egg—who doesn’t want their muscles more toned, their libido and lubrication increased, and their hormones balanced?

“People definitely use them differently—for instance, some women sleep with the egg in, but some women feel too much energy from the egg for that long a stretch….one friend said her lover really noticed a (positive) change, and you definitely do discover a lot of positives in that vein!”

It also makes you more attractive (“I sometimes feel people are more attracted to you when you’re carrying a jade egg”) and don’t worry about the egg getting stuck down there (“it can’t get lost, but these ones have a hole drilled in them, which you can then thread with unwaxed floss, to make it easier to take out, and to generally ease any anxiety about it—which, I’ll tell you, a lot of people have!”)

No word on whether Gwyneth Paltrow herself uses them but she recently told Sophia Amoruso’s book Nasty Galaxy when asked what she is excited about when she wakes up in the morning, “Coffee. And sex.” Presumably, with eggs.