DEBUNKED: This Year’s Starbucks Cup Controversy Doesn’t Actually Exist

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By William Hicks | 4:54 pm, November 7, 2016

There have been a few articles this year attempting to drum up a new Starbucks cup controversy as juicy as last year’s red cup fiasco. Unfortunately this year there weren’t actual people who were outraged. But since controversy brings clicks and online journalists (take it from me, I would know) literally starve to death once the clicks stop rolling in, they just had to make it all up.

When looking at the origin of the new green cup controversy, it’s pretty obvious that it is not built on outrage , but people joking about being outraged.

It all started with this stupid article in Buzzfeed, People Are Really Mad Over Starbucks Cups Again Right Before The Holidays.”

The main tweet they used to prove their case was someone who was obviously joking, who even stated that in the replies.

Nice job checking that one.

So then I took it on myself to write an article making fun of the nonexistent outrage called, “WAR ON CHRISTMAS: Starbucks Ruins Christmas Again, This Time With Green Cups

In it, I joked that Starbucks “unity” cups were promoting ISIS because ISIS is the unified caliphate of the Islamic State. And the joke was inspired by this tweet by the public editor of the Washington Free Beacon, WHO WAS ALSO JOKING.

Well, since journalists are a dense and humorless breed, Biff Diddle and myself made it into a new Starbucks controversy article, HuffPo’s Starbucks Cups Controversy Prompts Bizarre Link To Islam.”

From the article:

Some went further, suggesting the cups were linked to the so-called Islamic State.

William Hicks wrote on Heat Street: “The giant coffee chain is calling this year’s monstrosity the “unity” cup… Hmm, what else is unified…. ISIS!!?! The unified caliphate of the Islamic State!”

The article also included a UK Breitbart reporter’s joke, who when asked said he was just “taking the piss.”

This led Vox to write one of their boring explainer pieces “Starbucks’s green cup controversy, explained.

Now this slew of articles has gotten Stephen Colbert to comment with a bit referencing tweets that are mostly joking.

There’s pretty much only one person who is actually serious and who holds the entire controversy on her shoulders.

Twitter user #HillarySatan wrote “Screw you. My coffee should NOT (and does NOT) come with political brainwashing. I dropped @Starbucks like a hot rock.” And she does not appear to be joking.

But this controversy appears to be snowballing faster and faster as the same dumb tweets are used to drum up a nonexistent issue to fill article space. 2016, can you just jump off a cliff and die already?