After ‘Pokemon GO,’ How Many Lives Will ‘Super Mario Run’ Claim Before Nintendo Stops Its Mobile Madness?

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By William Hicks | 3:47 pm, December 8, 2016

Pokemon GO wrought enough havoc and moral panic to warrant a Jack Thompson-style congressional inquisition to ban the game and exile Nintendo from America’s shores.

But Nintendo will not stop its mad foray into smart phone mobile games. In a week they will release another mobile title, Super Mario Run, which will surely leave a path of destruction equal to or greater than Pokemon.

Unless you were living under a rock during the summer you will remember the masochistic, adrenaline junkie fad known as playing Pokemon GO in public. The game left many injured or worse. A teenager in Guatemala was shot dead hunting for Pokemon in a rural area. A couple in Arizona left their two-year-old daughter alone at home to go out and play Pokemon. Pokemon trainers in Bosnia had to dodge land mines. Two Californians fell off a 90-foot ocean bluffNot to mention the dozens mugged at night around Pokestations.

And Nintendo will only continue their mobile crimes against humanity with Super Mario Run.

Sure, one could argue that Super Mario Run does not encourage players to go outside and explore the dark scary world—it’s just a simple runner game and there are hundreds more like it already in the App Store. But that does not mean the game cannot kill.

What if a young kid tries to run and jump like Mario and falls off 90-foot ocean bluff? What if a Bosnian playing the game steps on a land mine? What if it’s so addictive that parents forget to give their diabetic children the insulin they need? It’s not if these things will happen, it’s when.

Nintendo has been completely silent on the coming wave of death and destruction that will coincide with the game’s launch.

Instead they send their figurehead Shigeru Miyamoto to blissfully pal around with Jimmy Fallon. Just like with Trump, Fallon failed to take Miyamoto to task for his blatant hate crimes against the American people, and instead let him smugly play music with The Roots.

Nintendo must be stopped before they literally burn down the world with their lineup of mobile games. Based on the success of Pokemon GO, Nintendo will likely launch many more games like it for all their major franchises.

We cannot trust people to exhibit basic levels of spacial awareness, precaution or self control. Studies have shown Nintendo games scientifically lower a person’s ability to resist the sweet, welcoming embrace of death.

People will die unless we take their games away. Where is Jack Thompson when you need him?

Follow me on Twitter @William__Hicks

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