It’s been a rough year for anyone who genuinely doesn’t care about identity politics and outrage. It’s even worse for people who frequent the internet where it’s become inescapable. It seems like you can’t visit social media anymore without someone being outraged and a pot being stirred—Twitter has become yet another online vehicle to communicate unmerited upset over issues as they unfold. It’s a lot like Tumblr nowadays, right down to the same dire financial situation.
The good news, however, is that it’s also really funny. As it turns out, 140 characters and no filter can lead to a lot of downright idiotic statements. That’s why we’ve decided to share some of the best outrages from 2016 that originated on Twitter. So go ahead, and read on—have a laugh at their expenses as well as ours.
After all, we’re the ones who had to shift through the endless outrage to find the true gems. Our brains hurt. A lot.
Dominos Pizza = Rape Culture
Starting off with a doozy, back in August one SJW got upset about advertising on a Dominos pizza box. In an attempt to advertise new minimalistic pizza toppings, Dominos put the messaging that “no means yes,” as in saying no to extra toppings to create a superior pizza.
This person took it as offensive, saying that it meant Dominos supported rape since they don’t take no for an answer. What a stretch. Bonus points, when the internet reacted to say that even for social justice this was a bit absurd, she doubled down and called her call out “discourse.” Sure, whatever you say—we’ll just call it stupid.
Don’t Label Me, Bro
A Twitter user complained to a brewery that their drink should be renamed because it was objectifying. The beer’s name was “Sex & Candy,” a gender neutral reference to having sex and hanging out, as confirmed by the song’s artist who coined the term after which the drink was named. I have to wonder if they called their local radio station back in the late nineties when “Sex & Candy” by Marcy Playground was on the billboard charts? Probably not—virtue signaling wasn’t in back then.
Surprisingly, the brewery didn’t kowtow to the outrage warrior. Instead it chose to mock their username which contained an actual gendered, objectifying pet name. Hypocrisy and social justice warriors go well together, just like sex and candy!
Bigger is Sexist
Size does matter—at least when it comes to face washes. One SJW took her findings to Twitter to explain that her partner’s face wash was in a bigger container thus was “masculinized.” The two face washes were completely different brands for different skin types, but ultimately, they doubled down on gender as the source of this awful malfeasance.
Luckily some other Twitter users were quick to action, citing an interview where the face wash designer said the package was literally designed to be bigger to stand out on shelves. How sexist.
Kinder Eggs and Gender Roles
When you’re looking for outrage everywhere, not even colors are safe. This SJW decided to get mad at Tesco for stocking Kinder Eggs, a chocolate treat adults and kids of all ages love. What was so offensive about a simple candy? They had pink coloring for a Disney princess egg and brown coloring for a Star Wars one, which he took as the company meaning that one was for boys and one was for girls.
Except not. It was just an aesthetically pleasing color scheme! Tesco’s official account responded back with an unintentional burn: “Please tell me where you see the boy and girl label?”
Hey, if he’s seeing outrage everywhere, maybe he saw labels that didn’t exist too. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt. He can’t be that much of a sexist that he automatically associates pink with women, right?
Trigger Warning: Pie
Imagine being a social justice warrior. Well, don’t, that’s just scary and we don’t want you to get triggered. But seriously, imagine for a moment being a person so hungry for controversy that you take an innocuous frozen meal’s name as a reminder of colonialism? Absurd, right?
No, it actually happened—it’s what this one historian did. Unfortunately for her, it turns out the dish is actually a meal in India known to be a regional variation on the traditional shepherd’s pie. Maybe she should become a better historian. (Want to read more about it? We talked about it more in-depth when it first blew up back in September.)