Rogue One: A Star Wars story was essentially created to tie up loose ends from the original movie that no one cared about in the first place. The entire film lives in the shadow of Episode IV: A New Hope yet somehow does not line up logically in many key places.
There are so many aspects of the film that make NO sense, and it’s really pissing me off.
R2D2 and C3PO
These two lovable, vaguely homoerotic robots appear in a quick masturbatory fan service scene in Rogue One. But in the film they have a few lines of dialogue which makes them appear familiar with each other.
This makes NO sense.
In the beginning of Episode 4, R2D2 just met C3PO. So why are they palling around on Yavin acting all buddy-buddy days before they officially meet. Sloppy screenwriting.
Why the hell was Princess Leia just chilling on a battleship that was assaulting an Imperial fortress.
Princess Leia makes a cameo at the end of Rogue One which makes absolutely NO sense and threw me in to a nerd rage so great I had to be escorted out of the theater.
For some stupid reason her ship, the Tantive IV, is docked on a Rebel battleship that is assaulting the an imperial base.
Why would you bring Princess Leia, an extremely valuable target for the empire, along to an extremely dangerous battle, just so she can sit around in her quarters and do nothing.
And then at the end of the movie Darth Vader almost makes his way into her ship when chasing fleeing rebels with the Death Star plans. Vader sees her ship take off from the Rebel battleship.
So that makes her lines at the beginning of Episode 4 make NO sense. Why would she even bother to tell Vader she was just on a diplomatic mission when he clearly saw her and her ship fleeing from a massive battle between the Empire and the Rebellion. One where the Rebellion attacked the Empire unprovoked and killed hundreds if not thousands.
The Death Star weakness
Rogue One attempts to fill in the plot hole from the original film about the Death Star’s weakness. But it makes NO sense.
In the film, it explains that the Death Star’s designer Galen Erso intentionally designed the thermal exhaust port flaw into the space station.
But if he was so intent on destroying the thing, why would he make the weakness the size of a womp rat that only a Jedi could barely hit with the help of the force on what was basically a suicide mission. Why didn’t he just design a self destruct mechanism and blow the thing up himself.
So dumb. I should have designed the Death Star, not this dummy.
Darth Vader pun
Not a plot hole, but that pun they made Vader say made NO sense.
“Don’t choke on your aspirations,” Vaders says while choking a dude. Ugh.
Vader’s not some kind of dad-joke making cutesy Disney character. He doesn’t make puns, he kills people with no remorse. Totally out of character. So bad.
Stealing Imperial outfits would not have worked.
Since Rogue One bases almost every beat it has on the original movie, of course they had to have a scene where they hide underneath the floorboards of their space ship then steal uniforms off imperial soldiers.
This made sense in the first film because they stole Storm Trooper helmets and their face was covered.
But it makes NO sense in Rogue One because they steal the outfit of a grey-shirt imperial officer. An officer comes in the ship with a clean shaven face, then leaves with a week of stubble and a mustache. How would no one notice? They walk past like, ten stormtroopers who just saw the original officer. Sad!
Why does the Empire use floppy disks?
You’d think a society capable of interstellar flight wouldn’t keep their data stored on heavy disc blocks. The cumbersome plot point had to be schlepped around a battle, but could probably fit on a thumb drive even with our Earthly technology.
Why didn’t Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor have sex when they knew they were about to die.
I know it’s a Disney movie, but this made NO sense. Jyn and Cassian clearly had the hots for each other the entire film and even showed some physical affection toward the end.
But when they were staring down the approaching mushroom cloud, they had a good two minutes to get it on before their existences were wiped out forever. I mean, they could have been well into the heated throes of passion at the end time instead of sitting on the beach like a bunch of schmucks.